Let the Holidays Begin

Friday the 21st marked the start of the holidays. I through a little holiday gathering in my hobbit hole of an apartment and it was very enjoyable. It is always nice to get your friends together for some drinks and good conversation and it makes me feel very loved to have such great people in my life. After two years in Halifax I have finally secured a solid group of people to be in my life. What a wonderful way to start the next 10 days of celebrations.

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Katima-Loss

I have been involved with Katimavik for most of my early adulthood. In 1995 I joined the program as a participant and lived in Belleville, ON, Acton-Vale, PQ and Hinton, AB. My choice to do the program came after a disasterous first year of university and since that time my life has been intertwined with Katimavik. In 1997 I joined the organization as a Project Leader and worked with 12 different groups of Canadian youth over 3.5 years. And in an interesting twist of fate I came back to Katimavik in 2006, this time as a regional manager. Much of my life has been influenced by Katimavik in one way or another. It has been a secondary home for me in many ways. I have been given a community of contacts around the country from my experiences. And I have come to believe in the importance of government-supported opportunities for youth.

Last night the founder of Katimavik passed away. Jacques Hébert was 84 and the creator of a legacy of youth initiatives including Katimavik and Canada World Youth. I met Senator Hébert in 1997 during my staff training for my first contract as Project Leader. His passion and commitment to the program was evident. I remember being amazed at his zest when, at the age of 74, he joined a hackey-sack circle on the lawn of the auberge. Since that time I have had the chance to work with other Katimavik staff who knew him well and to hear him speak in continued support of the program that was so valuable to me. I can only say that he will be missed, not just as the source of Katimavik but as a light that illuminated the necessity for youth development in Canada.

Wednesday

Things that sucked today...

I got food poisoning from the Mickey D's that I ate on Tuesday to make me feel better about THAT crappy day. Lesson learned.

Tuesday

Things that sucked today...

1 - woke up late
2 - forgot documents at home and had to double back
3 - worked all day on a project that was a day late
4 - found out my school assignment email was not received and...
5 - made the submission of our paper late
6 - found out a lady down the street who hates my car called my landlord asking for my car to be moved off the street in front of her house!

My response ...
1 - stayed at work an hour longer
2 - picked up the documents and walked to work to enjoy the 13 degree weather
3 - got the project done
4 - sorted out the email problem
5 - cried a bit
6 - left the car there ... for a bit anyway

Grey Day

It came and went again. The 95th Grey Cup filled up my Sunday evening with high hopes of prairie-filled joy and a battle to the last down. And I was not disappointed. The game was exceptional - if lacking in scoring. With Bomber QB Kevin Glenn out of the game (after last week's broken arm!) it appeared that the Riders were in a favoured position. And although I was hoping for my birthplace province to take the big prize, I knew it wouldn't be guaranteed. And luckily I was right. The game was a tough fight with the defense doing most of the work. Without many memorable plays I found myself turning my attention to other highlights on the big screen. These would include the Brady-esque hotness of backup QB Ryan Dinwiddie and the song stylings of Lenny Kravitz. Yummy.

As for this year's party and can only offer a bit of "meh". I know, sounds horrible. And this is not to say that it was not a fun affair - it always is. But, a mellow vibe, a new location, a lackluster drinking game attempt and some new non-baller fans made for a social gathering a little low on the fanaticism of past years. I offered my sincerity to the rum gods and Ash provided his usual BBQ goodness but at the end of it all it was rather anti-climatic. Still, I can only say how lucky I am to have CFL friends and generally awesome social group that will put up with me while I yell at the screen and chug my drinks in the corner. Can't wait for next year in Montreal ... I am SO going to be there!!


Grey Cup 2005 ... Grey Cup 2006

Christmas Wishes

This picture is of me and my cousins many years ago. I love it. So much has happened since then. Of course I had that bad haircut then that I swore I would never get again! Oh well, you can't be awesome all the time.

One thing I have managed to do is post my Christmas wish list every year on November 24. The hard part this year was compiling a list at all. People have been SO good to me in the past and I have satisfied many of my own DVD desires so I did not have much of a list this year. Still, I managed to find a few things for my heart's desire:

2007 Requests
- Photoshop software
- a knitted hat in autumn yellow or orange
- Beastie Boys greatest hits CD

Things carried over from last year...
- a craft cutting board about 11X14 (they are green)
- a big, beautiful ATLAS of the world

Things on DVD...
- Out of Sight, The Usual Suspects, Heat
- Seasons of "Felicity"

Smile makers
- massages, pedicures and facials
- After Eight chocolates
- Winners, Old Navy, Reitmans Gift Certificates
- Hugs and Love
- Good health for my family and friends

Vanier Cup

So the coolest thing ever happened last night. I got to sit in the campus pub of a school I go to and watch the final game in Canadian university football in which my school's team was playing. It was SO much fun. Sadly, our team lost. Oh well. At least I was there!

Small Screen Crushes

I must admit to a new TV crush these days. Since September I have been watching "Dirty Sexy Money" for the soap factor and Donald Sutherland's voice. However, over the course of that time I have fallen completely for the unassuming and wonderful handsomeness of Peter Krause. This is a change for me because I had never really noticed Krause before in spite of all the press done for "Six Feet Under" (which I have yet to watch). But Krause is fantastic. He has a genuine quality on screen that is devastating. He is a man's man. He loves his wife and daughter. He has a great smile. He looks wonderful in a suit. Hell, even his side-burns get me hot under the collar. That is how good he is. That is what makes him crush-worthy. And then I got thinking about it and realized that at the age of 42 Krause is obviously a MAN and my crushes are finally reaching some maturity. Which made me think of who else is curling my toes on the small screen this season:

Eric Dane (35) - I have to say that the new season of "Grey's Anatomy" is being very good to McSteamy.

Taye Diggs (36) - If you saw the November 15 episode of "Private Practice" then you understand that he is still ALL about getting a women's groove back!

Matthew Settle (38) - Playing the dad on the teen soap "Gossip Girl" is not the easiest gig but somehow he manages to make a charater named Rufus totally sexy.

David Boreanaz (38) - Always nice to have a past crush still on the list this time trading the brooding for the wise-cracking on "Bones".

Michael Vartan (39) - Being the victim of adultery and a CEO never looked so good as when Vartan is the good guy on "Big Shots".

Blair Underwood (43) - Playing the maybe bad guy on "Dirty Sexy Money" looks good on him - as do the jeans and fitted leather jackets.

Dylan McDermott (46) - The stubble makes the all difference here as McDermott manages to make a philanderer a smoldering and sincere treat on "Big Shots".

Tim Daly (51!) - The joke may be that Addison moved to L.A. for his kiss but watching him on "Private Practice" and you are inclined to agree it was worth it.

Football Weekend

Another weekend = another set of football games. This weekend was ALL about finals. It was all about deciding games. It was the weekend where hopes and dreams were on the line for players and fans. It was an awewome weekend!

Saturday afternoon I put on my warm clothes (polar fleece socks this time!) and sat outside in the crisp fall air to enjoy the Uteck Bowl. This game is the east final to determine which team form the atlantic-quebec region will represent in the Vanier Cup. And this year the SMU Huskies were playing in front of a hometown crowd after a few years of disappointing performance. Their opponents were the Rouge et Or de Laval and in spite of SMU's clean season they were decidedly the underdogs in the battle. But something positive was in the air that day. SMU ran the field. Laval never got their game together. It was wonderful to watch. After some initial disappointment with our endzone seats, our position turned out to be quite advantageous for two of the touchdowns. And in the end it was our team that was victorious and heading to Toronto to play for the highest honour in Canadian University football. They will be playing the U of Manitoba Bisons (who demolished Western 52-20) at the Skydome next Friday night. Go! Huskies Go!

Today was the finals for East and West divisions in the CFL. Today determined who would be in the Grey Cup this year. And although my horsies were ousted last week I was very excited about today's games. The chance to have an all-west Grey Cup is a joy to me and I was cheering for a Bombers vs. Riders outcome. I was not disappointed. Again, both games had the winning teams pegged as underdogs. And once again the teams came on strong and overwhelmed their competition. Winnipeg toppled Toronto 19-9 showing a return to their early season form and responding to the previous Argo wins that had kept the Bombers from first place. The Saskatchewan and BC match-up was more intense with a final score of 26-17 and built on the Riders ability to capitalize on BC errors. So two teams with ecstatic fans will head to the Skydome on November 25 and fight for the cup. Now I just need to decide which side I will cheer on!

Cycle Blog - Day 14

Warm morning today - like, 7 degrees warm - so it made for a good ride. Today was laps. Methodical pedalling which was good because I am all crampy for other reasons and my thighs were really aching. It was tiring but refreshing. I got 16kms done this morning. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. So the cycle blogs will continue to day 21 and we'll see how I'm doing. Two-thirds done so far.

Cycle Blog - Day 13

Another clear morning and I actually brought my camera this time. Actually, the ride was decidedly shorter and less intensive as usual because I was busy taking pictures. It was a lovely morning. I am really enjoying the time when the clear air gets into my head and clears my mind. I am really coming around to being up early and getting my heart going. Of course there was a deadly hill that made me feel like my heart was going to burst through my chest but, I fought up to the top anyway. Ahhh ... success. So I was getting home later today and I missed the classical music "cage match" on CBC 2. But you can't get everything before 8am!

Cycle Blog - Day 12

It was minus 5 this morning which did not make me want to go outside and be active. But it wasn't raining so the deal was I had to go. And what a morning. Crisp and clear. We came down the hill to Point Pleasant park and the sky was full of fire. . The morning was gorgeous. We stopped by the shore. The grass was fuzzy with white frost. The water was calm and dyed a soft mauve with a golden swath painted upon it. Everything was quiet except for the rustling sound of leaves falling to the ground, the waves lapping the shore and the muffled blast of a container ship coming into the harbour. It was beautiful. Then we took off to ride around the park this morning. The change of scenery was invigorating even if the hills were challenging. Overall, the mix of weather, effort and enjoyment made it one of the best morning rides yet. Wish I had brought my camera!

Cycle Blog - Day 11

Sunday morning and I am a half hour late even though the start time was 8am. Oh well - you do what you can the morning after the first snow of the year. Most of the snow was already gone by biking time but it was still wet. And chilly. And I got soaking during the ride and my sneakers were squishy sponges that made my feet feel like popsicles. It was not a fun hour outside. Of course I was the one who said we should go out even though I don't have water gear. But it is over now and I am going to take a warm shower.

Snow Ball

Today was the Loney Bowl - the AUS (Atlantic University Sport) final for football. SMU played St.FX for a shot to go to the Uteck Bowl next weekend to play the winner of the Quebec league and the winner from there heads to the Vanier Cup. It was a chilly and windy day so we were all bundled up in our coats with fleece blankets and mittens. I love the idea that Canadians will sit outside in crappy weather to watch sports. I love that we have athletes that will play in such conditions.

The first half was a bit sluggish. The first point on the board was a 1-point safety due to a dropped ball kicked to the end zone. Nobody thought much of it at the time but it would prove to be the ultimate point. By the half, the SMU Huskies were leading 18 to 11 and although the expected blowout wasn't occurring it looked like SMU was going to secure their Uteck spot. And then the second half happened.

I can only say that the second half is what football is all about. St.FX came back in force with two touchdowns to lead the game 24-18. SMU couldn't seem to catch a break as a series of fumbles in the red zone were costly turnovers. By this point the crowd is totally owned by the game. The St. FX fans can see a possible win. The SMU fans are freaked at the possibility of NOT making the finals after a clean season. But then SMU gets a touchdown and with the convert it places them in the lead by ONE point. After a field goal attempt by St. FX goes wide and gets run out the challenge became one of possession strategy and time management. Could SMU run down the last 5 minutes of the game to ensure their win? Can anyone play ball in crazy snow flurries when your feet and hands are frozen?

The answer to both questions is YES! And by one lucky point scored in the first quarter the SMU Huskies are heading into the Uteck Bowl, hosted on their home field, next Saturday. What a great afternoon!!

Cycle Blog - Day 10

First weekend morning cycle means an extra half hour of sleep. Of course I set my alarm wrong again and JUST made it on time. I think my subconscious is not yet on program with the biking thing. At 7am on a Saturday the city is quiet. The sky was slightly overcast today and there was a chill in the wind. I think we are hitting the turning point of the seasons now. Today I was really tired. My legs felt tired. Not sore. Just a dull thudding to them that made it hard to keep going. Wade was feeling it too so we kept the morning short. Down to the beach at Point Pleasant and a two sets of step-ups on the picnic table. I only fell twice! Man, those things are hard!! The slow grade back up the from the park was easier to do than before (in spite of my dead legs) and gave me some hope that I am actually getting a bit better at this stuff. Either way, it got me out of bed and more productive before 10am then any weekend (biking, coffee at Uncommon Grounds and 6 loads of laundry all done!) and sets the day up well. I might be hooked - but don't quote me yet.

Point Pleasant this morning...

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Cycle Blog - Day 9

At three weeks in this should really be Cycle Blog #15 ... that was the plan anyway. But life has a way of getting in the way of plans, especially early morining ones. Today was chilly. Zero degrees - so I put on my polar fleece leggings and it helped. But, my toes did get cold. The goal for today was 10 laps on Young Ave. which would be 20kms. I got 7 of them done in our allotted time. The thing about the laps is that my muscles really start to feel it. Unlike the diverse terrain (namely the death hills) of cycling around the neighbourhood, the laps get my body into a rhythm and it becomes much easier to find my weaknesses. Namely, my thighs. But it wasn't all bad. I am actually starting to mentally enjoy getting up early and starting my day this way. And with each lap the sun was getting higher and shining in autumn gold through the leaves of Point Pleasant Park (which is at the end of the street). It was a lovely distraction.

Here are some sunny leaves taken on a different - more leisurely - day:

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Writer's Blog

Today I handed in a paper for a class and it has been a pain in my ass for weeks. I had my ideas but I could NOT get the writing done.

A friend of mine writes about cars for the press. It is his "dream" job. And yet he struggles to write on demand these days.

And these incidents made me think about the Writer's Strike going on in the U.S. right now. It made me think about the work and the effort the people put in to deliver my favourite shows. I thought about how rough it must feel to have to be creative, clever, funny, insightful, topical, etc. on demand all the time. And even then there is no guarantee that the script is produced. And then you are sharing the responsibility with other people so not every episode that airs is one of your episodes. And then your show gets cancelled and you don't have a job for who knows how long and the only money you have is the residuals from your previous work. Well, all I can say is that it would drive me crazy to live like that.

Then the business side kicks in and I wonder about base salaries and residual percentages and overhead costs and everything else that is involved in making a show a reality. It is alot. I'm sure the beautiful orange plexiglass set on "Ugly Betty" (not to mention all the greenscreen technology!) isn't cheap. I bet the tailored scrubs on "Grey's Anatomy" cost a bit dough. I reckon the special effects teams on "Bones" rack up some cash. Plus everybody else in the pipeline is looking for their paycheque of this one entertaining vehicle. And when you are managing this many variables even the smallest percentage changes can mean the difference between profit and loss.

And then I got all lost in the argument. But it is an intriguing one to have and one that questions our assumptions about entertainment and the balance between creation and business and output and return. I found this great video from the Writer's Guild that explains their position. Without being able to study the financial from the a studio it is hard to determine if these demands would be crippling. What do you think?

From Mitch

"Men are strange beasts and the only ones that are easy to figure out are dumb and assholes."

Good to know.

No Cycle Blog - Sleep In

The thing about getting up to cycle at 6:30am is that it is hard. It is especially hard when you are making a lifestyle change to do it. And sometimes you realize that climbing out of bed that early just for a bike ride is not the most helpful thing you can do. Which is why Wade cancelled biking in order to be well-rested for mid-term exam. Fine by me - I am spending late night hours working on a project paper for my class. Which is why I totally enjoyed the extra 2 hours of sleep this morning - come 1am tonight I am going to need it!

Cycle Blog - Day 8

Another Monday morning after a weekend of drinking and the biking is hard. I wonder when I will ever learn. Got to sleep in a bit today since I was already at Wade's because the power was out at my place and I was crashing on the couch. Of course those extra minutes were wiped out by having to sleep on a sofa and deal with the incredibly LOUD neighbours so I hardly felt rested this morning. Thanks to the time change it was a brighter morning. I was good on the first two hills then lost Wade in the morning light and got lost for a bit. We traded bikes for a bit and I got a good workout but my brain wasn't in it and I could feel myself fading. So glad I made it out but not one of my better days. I would be moving forward if I didn't keep killing all my weekday efforts with my weekend socializing. Oh well.

Cycle Blog - Day 7

Back on the bike this morning after 3 days off. My sickness has waned and nasty sore throat has been replaced by snottiness. Oh well. Today was about doing laps. Big loops around Young Avenue ... up and back ... up and back. This morning we did six loops. That equals 12 kms apparently. Yay for me. I even got my bike onto the highest gear for the last two loops so I am getting better. Not so hard on the heart today but my legs were aching. My thigh muscles are too weak to keep the cardio going at times. I am going to be sore tomorrow!

Happy Maker

Every time I get caught up in my own life and have a down day I am fortunate to find new pics of my niece and nephew to make me smile. This one reminds me how small Maebe still is because I have seen the lego box and it is not that big. I think this image is like a mini-version of those ball rooms that kids get to play in at McDonalds or something. Granted she won't be doing any diving in this pond but it is still cute. And look at her hair! All that hair! I love it! She was a purple fairy for Halloween. It appears that purple is emerging as HER colour. Tag was a skeleton pirate and it was way cute - in a disturbing kind of way. He has so much energy! One thing I really notice is how different the pictures are because of the ages. When Tag had his first Halloween he was 7 months old. Maebe is only 4. So while Tag was holding himself up and mugging for the camera, Maebe is still working on her vision and sitting up. Once again I am astounding by the development of children and how wonderful they can be to watch. It really is a happy maker.

Cold Truths

I have been sick for three days. One day I actually had booked off work to try and curb getting sick but I got suckered anyway. I took two more days off work. I hate that and I find it is happening often. This time it was a complete throat attack that even my landlord heard as I hacked away at night. So I took my drugs (yeah for tylenol and benelyn!), drank my tea and slept - A LOT - like 15 hours in a stretch alot. At the end of day three I am finally getting rid of the fuzziness in my brain. I managed to get out of my PJs and into the shower. I even made it out of the house - mainly because I needed food and my fridge is empty.

The thing about being sick and trapped at home in a semi-concious state is that you do a lot of thinking. My mind has been bothering me these days. There are too many things from the past, hopes for the future, and moments trapped in the present that are swimming around in my brain and driving me crazy. And I really don't have time to be crazy. I need to be directed. I need to be motivated. I need to be productive. I need to be building a life to somewhere, of something, and I am not. I am being complacent. I am being easily lulled into just being and I'm not really going anywhere anymore. I think I have hit a wall.

Almost two years ago this wall was an okay place to rest. It was a necessary stop at the time. I made some strong and good choices for then. But now? Now they are not doing what I need them to do. I need to find some new things. One of these things is my brother's children. I feel a pull to be around them that I don't even understand. I feel a desire to be important to their lives and I don't have forever to do that. At least not in this way - while they are young and developing. And so I know that moving myself closer to them is in the cards ... soon.

My mind has also been going nutty over my non-existent romantic life. Always a theme on this blog, I understand how pathetic it can sound for a great woman (which I am) to worry (obsess?) so much about this aspect of her life. But I do. I always have. The last time I remember being truly free and directed in my life was before I bothered to care about boys. I used to be this FORCE in the world and I honestly walked with a confidence that was probably intimidating for a 13-year-old. But now that direction is easily converted and the confidence is less than sincere (all the time). And I have taken to drunken ramblings that are less-than-attractive and I don't want that to be me. That isn't really me. It's my fear. It's a fear based in a history that I give power to and struggle to overcome. It is a fear that I perpetuate by never fighting in the first place for what I deserve. And it's a fear that is maintained by settling and wishing but never pushing and doing.

So on the third day of being sick (and overslept and medicated) I end up watching "Private Practice" and listening to Addison talk about how a woman should have everything in her life. She should have the life she deserves. I deserve an awesome life. I have built some of it so far ... now I need to remember, to fight, to push myself to keep going. And I WILL have it all.

No Cycle Blog - Sick Day

Yesterday's ride ended in a wheezing and coughing fit that lasted all day and got worse as the hours went by. By 9pm I was a mucus mess with a mild fever and aching bones. So I called off the ride for today thinking that 0-degree exercise at 6am was not the best thing for me. Wade's response was that this was to be expected. It was inevitable that I would get sick as my body adjusted. THIS is the hard part. I need to eat well, sleep lots and be ready to go back out in a few days. Don't quit. Just fight. Well, the sleeping thing isn't a problem because it's ALL I want to do - even though I have a major assignment to write. But the clogged throat, foggy brain and wrecked body are definately not enjoyable. Let's see how long I last.

Cycle Blog - Day 6

Monday morning and back on the bike. We took the weekend off because, really, who wants to cycle THAT early on the weekends? A girl has got to get her beauty rest. Or at least sleep off her hangover! Of course the weekend's festivities made this morning's push a bit harder on the body. I had to stop mid-hill and just collect myself at one point. Damn weak legs. Damn wine on saturday! And the cold air has caused my lungs to rebel with a mucus-y cough that is less than pleasant. But I made it out with my fleece headband to keep my ears warm which was a very good idea. A new week is a new start.

Masked Mayhem

Halloween has never been a big part of my adult life. I have many memories from childhood of homemade costumes (big enough to fit over a snowsuit) and pillow cases. I remember being an early teen in those last days of trick-or-treating when the social hike through the dark streets was about getting to the houses that handed out pop. But as I got older this dark event faded out of relevancy. I never had a group of friends that was INTO costume parties. So in the last 10 years I have probably dressed up 4 times - 3 of those being my time out in Halifax. But this yeare was a big one!!


This year my friend Wade decided that he was tired of never having a real costume party experience either. He wanted to host an event that was not a stop-over on the way to the bar. He wanted to host a masked event that would let people be someone other than themselves for the night. And so we planned a Masquerade Party for Saturday night and went all out. Seriously, it has been 3 weeks of costume ideas and shopping and sewing. But the results were (obviously) awesome.

I chose to go big this year and actual buy a real costume since I had gotten my hands on a cheap wig. So Marie Antoinette was born. I knew that most gals go the sexy route for Halloween (been there) and I wanted to do something a bit different. I wanted the flirty edge but not so obvious. I had actually seen the costume online and when I found it in a shop here I knew what to do! (Of course I will likely be M.A. for may Halloween's to come!)

And it was SO much fun. The day was spent getting the decorations done and the last minute running around that always takes longer than you think it will. I was tired by 7pm I didn't think I would be able to party at all. Thank you Red Bull. The crowd was smaller than the Sexy Back party but the spirits were all in the right places and the masked mayhem was marvelous. Once again my friends (and their friends) prove to be one of the best things about my life right now and I am so lucky to have their energy and support (even when I am drunkenly yelling about the lack of wine or trying to cook the hangover breakfast). Happy Halloween Everyone!

Cycle Blog - Day 5

Today was the first "BRRRRRR" day of the season. I opened my door to realize I needed more clothes ... and gloves. There was frost on the ground. My throat is trying to recovering from huffing and puffing the 0-degree air. But the cycling was good. Figuring out how to use my bike gears has helped immensely. Finding the way to work a tool makes it easier to get what you want out of that tool - and I guess the same can be said for the body. I don't feel like throwing up the ENTIRE time anymore. Today we took a different route. Did a few more hills. Cycled two laps on Young Ave. where the million-dollar homes look like castles. It was a good morning. And although my legs were all wobbly in the end I felt good. To quote Elle Woods from Legally Blonde: "Exercise produces endorphines. Endorphines make you happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands." And not that I was contemplating anything sinister (I am a bit loopy from tiredness this week), I am understanding the happy part.

Good Gossip

At any given time in a TV season there is a teen-soap that gets everyone hooked. This year that show HAS to be "Gossip Girl". It is my new addiction. Admittedly I watch it on broadband rather than cable but I still hate to miss it. In fact, this week I began to crave it and couldn't wait until Wednesday morning when the episode was available online. So I'm sure you're thinking - what's the deal? Well, to begin you have to let loose any TV-snobbery about the teen-soap genre and you have to be willing to embrace the ludricracy of rich kids acting like adults. (This should not be so hard for any 90210 or OC fans of the past.)

The show is based on a series of books - the first of which was called Gossip Girl - published in 2002 and spawning 11 sequels (so far). Since then the books have been criticized for their decadence and potential inappropriateness for a young audience and the TV show appears to follow the same thread as CTV posts a mature audience warning on the episodes. So maybe it is not the best show for the age it portrays - but for the rest of us the decadence, deceipt, and debauchery make for perfect pulp viewing.

The show centers around Serena Van der Woodsen (the charming Blake Lively from the Sisterhood films) as a rich girl recently returned from boarding school after an abrupt departure. Her best friend - Blair Waldorf - is not so enthused to have her back particularly because Blair's boyfriend - Nate Archibald - seems a little too enthused. Enter into the mix Nate's smarmy friend Chuck and the requisite poor kids - Dan & Jenny Humphrey and the school shenanigans begin. Personally I am loving the budding relationship between Dan and Serena - portrayed by two winning young actors. And I am enjoying Jenny's challenge to the status system while still managing to play the game. And of course I like the fashion.

Also on the scene are the parents with histories, secrets and romances of their own to occupy their time (leaving more room for 'the kids' to run wild!) Notably the show brings Kelly Rutherford (ex-Melrose vixen) and Matthew Settle (ex-eye candy from a I Know What You Did Last Summer sequel - and still hot!) into their new station as TV parents of precocious teens. So the show is soapy and stylish and smart and even sweet at times. Narrated by the wonderful Kristen Bell (go V. Mars!) the show offers a fluffy respite from anything important. Can't wait to see what happens next. XOXO

Cycle Blog - Day 4

The temperature has dropped ... only 8 degrees this morning. Wade goes easy on me today. We avoid two of the "death" hills. But I am in a good mood. I am working on staying positive. I have realized that I have to ignore where he is and just do my thing. I had a good climb on the long grade this morning and didn't whine once going up. And although my legs felt like jelly doing the step-ups, I am getting better and working the bike gears so they don't feel like jelly ALL the time.

Cycle Blog - Day 3

Woke up late. Damn power outage meant I had to reset my clock last night and leave it to me to set the alarm for 6pm!!! FUCK - FUCK - FUCK! So I get to Wade's for 7am - a half hour late - and we don't have time to ride today. The air is warm (17 degrees) and everything is wet from the evening rain. We do a half hour walk - feels really good - can feel my leg muscles getting weak. Not as strenous as the cycling but a nice day three reprieve.

Cycle Blog - Day 2

It was easier to get up today ... probably because I went to bed at 11pm instead of 2am! The air was full of water but the bulk of the fog had lifted. By the time we got to the park and Wade had put me through our step-up exercises on the picnic table the sun had broken the horizon and the world was brighter. My mind is working against me. I loathe the hills and got stuck twice. My thighs feel powerless. My chest is burning and I can't catch my breath. Day two sucks. But I did it.

Cycle Blog - Day 1

A new series on my blog begins today. I have committed to a plan to cycle in the mornings with my friend Wade. He has promised to be my "coach" so I can actually be active. This plan entails riding a bike for an hour+ starting at 6:30AM. I haven't been on a bike for any length of time since 2001. This mini-blog will track the progress of this endeavour (place your bets now!).

Today was the start. It was still black when we hit the streets and only a sliver of gold & crimson was on the water when we got to the shore at Point Pleasant. I had trouble with the gears. And my chest burned. When I had to sprint down Young Avenue my legs ached. At the end of the ride my body was humming. It was humming jelly. And when I stepped off the bike my right leg almost gave out completely. Apparently I only got a 30-min warmup and about 10 mins of actual exercise accomplished today. But it was a start.

The Boys

I have two friends in Halifax that deserve some attention. They are my boys. (I am sure you have seen them sprinkled throughout the photos on this site.) Honestly it was only through the randomness of my often-ill-conceived-decision-making that we have made it this far. That and the fact that we really like each other. We eat good food, go to plays, watch football games and movies. We throw kickass parties and enjoy spontaneous late nights. We built a bar and rebuilt some wardrobe choices. Wade fixes my car and gives me tough-love reality checks. Ash enables my CFL-addiction and reminds me of my awesomeness.

I consider myself lucky because beyond all the "fun" they are genuinely kind, understanding and helpful guys. I am not always the easiest person to be friends with and they have survived the last two years to reward me with warm hearts and support (only occassionally sarcasm-tinged). So this is my shout-out to Ash & Wade. Because the beauty of having a blog is that you can share your narcissism with your friends!

Pumpkin Princess

Every year my brother and sis-in-law take the kids to the pumpkin farm. Last year there was only Tag. This year Maebe gets to go for the visit. It's funny that the two of them have such different personalities. Tag is a cheeky monkey and was always a camera star. Maebe has the introspective and contemplative look about her. She also still has all that crazy hair which I think is the cutest thing ever!


I must admit to missing the little munchkins although I barely know them. It is an interesting feeling to feel so drawn to something without any long-standing context to back up the desire. But whenever I see pictures of them I just want to hop on a plane and go hug them. I guess that makes me a typical aunt. And I guess it's easy to be so gushy because I don't see them at their worst. But I know I would love them anyway. Tag and Maebe are the true bounty of my Thanksgiving and they are the best treats for my Halloween.

Personality DNA

I found this fun personality review online and thought I would share the results. I think it paints a rather good picture of me and some of my weaknesses. What do you think?

I am a Creator

Imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty make you a CREATOR.

Independent, and you enjoy self-sufficiency.

Defying convention, you are very innovative, and have a vivid imagination.

The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas.

You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there.

Your eagerness to seek new and varied experiences leads you into many different situations.

You're not set on one way of doing things, and you are creative when it comes to finding novel solutions to complex problems.

You trust yourself to be innovative and resourceful.

Your confidence allows you to take your general awareness and channel it into creativity.

You are balanced in your approach to problem-solving, not letting your emotions hold you up.

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.

If you want to be different:
Appreciate the earthly, practical elements of things—there is beauty in form as well.

While you are good at thinking abstractly, focusing on details a bit more may help you discover things about the world.


HOW YOU RELATE TO OTHERS
You are Free-Wheeling

Your charismatic nature, liveliness, and independence make you FREE-WHEELING.

You don't mind being in the spotlight, preferring social gatherings to quiet nights at home.

You take a practical approach to people, not getting too involved in their feelings—or their business.

At the same time, your acceptance of others leads you to be understanding of their life circumstances, even if you don't quite understand their emotional reactions to some things.

Although you have a wide circle of friends, you're very discerning as to whom you can trust.

You're not rigid in your beliefs about the world, and you don't want to impose your perspective on others, but at the same time, you know that plenty of people don't always act responsibly.

Engaging with others is a large part of how you live in the world, and most importantly, it plays a role in how you see yourself—you tend to learn a lot about yourself in situations where you are with other people.

You have an understanding of the complexities of situations, and you don't judge others too hastily.

If you want to be different:
Your open-mindedness about the world gives you a great perspective on things, but your lack of trust in others limits how close you can get with them. Try opening up to people a bit more without losing your healthy skepticism.

While being the life of the party will occasionally come naturally to you, be sure to reserve time for yourself—see what you can learn by spending some time observing the world rather than just by diving in.

If you would like to try your own test go here.

A Frustration

I am having a crisis of focus these days. It is a haunting annoyance in the back of my brain that is drowning out my rationality. This is nothing to new to me. I have faced this all of my life and I have yet to figure out how to make it go away. I admit that I don't think it will go away - I will just have to get better at dealing with it. But this is the problem, as I get older I have more things in my mind that require solid attention. I don't have the luxury of being a kid with all its free mental time to devote to this ailment. What is it that tortures me so? It is infatuation. It is my crushing-ness on the man-candy. It is that useless, day-dreaming-ness that vascilates between tickling my mind and kicking my ass. What's a girl to do?

A New Mantra

Play it a little cool.
Be Nice.
Remember that you are already gorgeous.

Popular Music

Three new shows debuted this week all about the decadence of the rich. One is a teen soap waiting to fill the "OC" vaccuum (Gossip Girl), one is a primetime soap of family dysfunction (Dirty Sexy Money) and one is a guy version of "Desperate Housewives" (Big Shots).

I enjoyed all three shows. Gossip Girl is on my must-see guilty pleasure list but I will never schedule around it because it is available on CTV broadband at my leisure. Dirty Sexy Money has the best cast of any new show and the quickest wit. It is a delightful mix of "Dynasty" & "Arrested Development" but I am not sure how long it can sustain its edge. Big Shots is a waste as far as actual story-telling goes but the eye-candy is good so it will likely stay around for the season. As if to counter the tide of low-end reality programs, these three new entries all center on people with means, people with BIG houses and wine cellars and helicopters and designer clothes.

But the kicker is that ALL three shows featured the SAME song at some point in the pilot episode. Yes, the SAME song. So apparently, "Young Folks" by Swedish group Peter, Bjorn & John is THE anthem of mainstream TV decadence this season. Admittedly it is a catchy tune. So good call PB&J promotors - you got my attention. You can check out the song of the season (and its cute video) here.

Sexy Season

It has been a busy week. For the first time in ages I had something to do every evening this week. Between classes and the film festival my only night off was going to be Friday. Then I got an "emergency" phone call from Wade about the painting of the built-in bar he was working on and my Friday night became a home-decor/painting/renovation exravaganza. It felt great to be involved. To be helping my friends. To be productive. And by the time I was back on Saturday morning the bar was looking snazzy and the place was on its way to hosting the boys' Take Sexy Back party.

It was the first day of fall and we all piled into the boys' place to rock our hotness. My plan to be "responsible" and only drink my white wine did not last and my stellar drunk self was on a roll. But it was a fantastic event. I felt good being surrounded by friends and interesting new people and not feeling any pressure to be anything but myself. It has been a long time since I felt that way. To top it off I was sporting a new set of fun hair extensions in order to unleash my inner supermodel - they were SO much fun. Hopefully I'll be able to figure them out in the future! We'll see. By 4am it was time to head home. It was the perfect ending to a big week and a great way to kickoff a new season.

Crush Boy Alert

I first noticed Hugh Dancy when he was a flop-haired brit-boy playing hero to the enchanted Ella of Anne Hathaway. He was "cute" but not take notice cute. He earned a bit more scruff in King Arthur but since he was playing Galahad the innocence was maintained. (Also, working opposite Clive Owen tends to take the viewers eyes OFF of you!) But then earlier this year I saw a little romantic flick called Evening and Hugh Dancy stole the show. He is still a tad boyish but that has now morphed into a wonderful charm. He has a full smile and happy eyes. He has, in fact become quite dreamy.

Which brings to me the full manisfestation of his crush-worthyness in the recent release The Jane Austin Book Club. Hugh plays Grigg, a bike-short-wearing, secretly wealthy IT support worker who is invited to join a group of love-lorn & love-lost ladies as they savour the works of Jane Austin. His invitation is due to the efforts of Jocelyn's (Maria Bello - stunning as always) attempt to bring some man-candy into the path of her recently heartbroken friend Sylvia (Amy Brenneman). But Grigg only has eyes for Jocelyn and the blossoming may-december romance between the two is one of the film's most enjoyable aspects. Much of this enjoyment is thanks to Dancy who has proven himself to be a wonderful screen presence. Affability is not a typical leading man trait - but leave it to Hugh and may as well be the best one.

Rocking My Inner Georgia O'Keefe

... otherwise known as the angles you see when you're not getting any. Actually, I really like this image in spite of its poor focus. I find the colour really pleasing.

Moving Again

"Without a vision of the future there is nothing to lead us forward."

These words were spoken during a lecture in my management consultiing class on Thursday night and they hit home. In one sentence I can sum up what was missing from my life in the past year. I had lost my concept of a future for myself. I did not have a direction. I did not have a vision and so I was lost in the darkness that is just being "here". In the past few weeks a view of the future has been emerging in my brain. I applied for graduation. I conceded that being close to my family - especially my nephew and niece - is important to me. I discovered some new professional paths to explore. And so I have regained my vision and for the first time in ages I have shaken free of some of my inertia and begun to move again. It feels great.

TIFF Sniff*

So the Toronto International Film Festival is in full swing causing me to stay up too late watching red carpet coverage on STAR! TV. It also makes me sad to realize that my boy Ben Affleck (looking better than he has in ages!) is IN the city and I am not. Oh the injustice.

Shoot 'Em Up -movie review

There are moments in movie-making when you just get to see something that takes entertainment to the far corners of what it can be. A film that really refuses to be serious, demanding, or even realistic. A film that invigorates you with style, action and sexiness. A film that aspires to be nothing but an 80-minute rocking adventure that never stops. And this year that film is Shoot'em Up Shoot'Em Up is exactly what it says it is. The film runs for 82 minutes and fills every frame with a hail of bullets. Each scene endeavours to create more creative and elaborate gun fights. Gunfights in a factory. Gunfights in stairwells. Gunfights during a car chase. Gunfights while skydiving. Gunfights during a wicked hot sex scene. Gunfights without a gun! This may sound silly, redundant even, but if you can release your grasp on reality and enjoy the Looney Tunes hyperbole of it all then it is intensely satisfying.

The "story" follows a reluctant hero who ends up playing saviour to a newborn infant that is the target of assassins trying to cover-up a nasty T-cell breeding scheme. See? Craziness! But technically the film is impeccable. What could have been a B-flick yawn is a rock'n'roll-fueled rollercoster. The lighting and set design are inventive and effective. To be fair, the movie is MY kind of film as many of the technical elements were done by people who had worked on other films I enjoyed immensely (the editor from Blade 2, Out of Sight's production designer, sound guys from Underworld).

The chosen actors are impeccable for their roles. Clive Owen is perfectly cast as a rugged and reluctant hero with a penchant for carrots and creative gunplay. Few actors can blend his charisma, cool and charm in such over-the-top surroundings. Leading the chase against the Clive is a Paul Giamatti - exchanging his loser image for a bit of creepy instead. Third in the mix is Moncia Bellucci as a hooker with a very special talent and a very golden heart. And so the three collide in a series of near escapes and by the end of it all the justice is dispensed, the future looks bright and the body count is high.

The Next Generation

I received this new picture today of the next generation in my family. It is interesting to not be the bottom rung of the family ladder anymore. It is also fun that they are all so amazingly cute, adorable, sweet and all those other adjectives used to describe children when you love them very much!


Who they are (clockwise): Taggart (my nephew), Maebe (my niece) & Mathilda (my cousin Meaghan's girl which makes her my first cousin once removed - I think!)

Model Tag

This my nephew in his second Sears modelling gig. He is clearly demonstrating the awesome fun of the Dora plane ... OK - he's actually pointing at the toy next to him like IT is more interesting but he can't be doing everything perfect.

You can see the actual ad at Sears online.

Why Matt Damon Rules!

Matt Damon is definately one of the greatest actors of his generation. He is undeniably talented and attractive. He is ripe with star power and balanced with real-life humbleness. And then you see the movie Eurotrip (shut up! it is a fun movie!) and it contains the BEST Matt Damon cameo of all time.

Check it HERE!

When was the Last Time you were Awake for 24hrs?

If you are me, that question would be answered with "this weekend" and in spite of the tiredness it induced it was great fun and totally unexpected. I love those moments in your life when things just keep rolling and all you can do is try to keep up. The past week was a busy one - I was on the road training staff and that can be exhausting. As it turns out my travels took me to Edmundston, NB for a couple of days. What a cute little town it is. It also has a video store with the BEST sales (3 for $15) on previously-viewed movies so I was a very happy camper.

After all the training was done I had my 8 hour drive on Saturday back home. I got up at 8am and was on the road by 9 - a big feat for me, especially on a weekend! My plan included a pit stop in Shediac to visit an great friend with a fabulous place on the beach. What a wonderful day to spend outside on the coast. OK - it WAS a little bit sweaty but I was playing bocci ball so I was being (sorta) active! After some laughs and some beer it was time to hit the road again - don't worry I was responsible! It was very tempting to stay and enjoy the sure-to-be-excellent food and the beach bonfire but I had elswhere to be!

So back to HFX in order to slip into a dress, do some makeup and head over to a wine & cheese party for the night. What a great event. The premise is that everyone brings a bottle of wine but keeps the identity hidden. So you spend the night trying wines with no notions about them. This allows you try things you might not normally and get monumentally drunk without thinking about it. The atmosphere was perfect and the crowd was in for a good time. I could not have had more fun. But of course it can't stop there so I had to host a little post-party to keep things interesting and keep me awake until the next 8am. Thus ... my 24hrs. WHEW!

Reality Bites

Just an FYI that my apartment is a "... den of slack" and I am SO unproductive there it is crazy. It is like my brain melts and falls out of my ears when I get home. This is not to say that I dislike my apartment - I actually really like my hobbit-hole as my personal space - but man, I cannot work in it! I need to find an inspiration space. I need a go-to location to be useful. I wonder where that could be?

Coves + Capes = Good Times

One of the great things in the world is when things collide to be a good time without having to plan too much. I can sometimes over-plan! I was hoping to go camping - which caused me to cancel on a kayaking invite - but my throat had been bothering me and I was positive that sickness was on the horizon. So no plans were made but then the weekend just gelled together into a full and rewarding use of time. Friday was mellow and full of football which is always good.

Saturday started with work but that turned out to go well and quickly. I often find the office a productive place to be when noone else is around and Saturday allowed me to get some extra tasks completed. Once all the details were done I went down to the local theatre to catch Becoming Jane - a romantic tale based on the life of Jane Austin. Two tear-filled hours of tragic romance later I was back in the sunshine. With clear skies above me I took off to Peggy's Cove with hopes of taking some decent pictures of the sunset. I must confess to loving Peggy's Cove now. It has become my personal retreat when I want to go somewhere to think and just soak up the sea air.

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Fish'n'chips for dinner and an hour of fading sun later left me some great shots and full of energy. What to do with that energy? Time to go for a beer. So a social drink with some co-workers tunred into a 4am-night at the Alehouse (it has been ages!). Needless to say, I was feeling a little bit rough the next morning. But I had a little plan in the back of my brain to finally visit Cape Split and I wasn't going to flake out. So I got my awesome car started and drove the hour to the valley to begin my scenic trek. I began by taking some pictures along the shore because the views were excellent. But that meant that I missed the actual trail head and ended up on a more "rustic" path. This path led me to a convoluted mix of trails through the wilds of the penninsula. I got scratched by raspberry bushes, thrashed through overgrown brush, got stuck on the wrong side of a ravine, and had a genuine "where the hell am I" moment only twice! I think this is the downside of hiking alone - you end up in the middle of nowhere with only the partridges to talk to! Eventually I found the path - and ACTUAL path - and got my way to the point. What an incredible place.

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After my random trekking it was marvelous to walk into the open grass, see the sun sparkles on the sea, listen to the gulls, and try to take pictures of the rock formations without falling off the cliffs! A full and fabulous afternoon. After it all, my body tired and sore (hiking hungover is not recommended) I drove home in time to watch my favourite cheesy show "Instant Star". What a brilliant weekend.

Maebe Motivation

Just to make sure that I don't contribute to the development of a second-child complex for Maebe I thought I would post another pic of my darling neice. This is another chance for me to gush about her awesomeness.

Actually, today is a busy and tiring one for me so I wish I could be sleeping as peacefully as this little pumpkin here. I am really struggling with balance in my life these days. I am feeling completely caged by my work, school, and volunteer obligations and when I get like this I start to get sick and shut down. I have realized that I haven't committed to a job location for more than a year so I think I have itchy-work-feet!

The other stressor is my anxiety over what my "plan" is for the future. I know that I am not satisfied with my current life situation but I am feeling completely overwhelmed about what to do/where to go next. The arrival of Maebe has really made me think about being closer to my family and that requires some planning. I am working towards a May graduation and that requires effort. But I find my motivations depleted these days. I have lost my life inspiration and I am not sure where it is. Of course life is not as gloomy as this post may imply. I am just feeling lost right now (a common theme on this blog is you sift through the archives) but I know it will pass. Good things lay ahead - I just can't see them yet. So I need to remind myself to focus on today. FYI, I am VERY bad at being present-minded! Thus, in moments like this I look to the wonders of children and the warm love that I feel for those in my family and push forward to the bright side of life.

Two Actresses - One Face

I saw the new Transformers this week (review coming soon - I promise) and something really bugged me. The film showcases starlet Megan Fox as the token hot chick/lead love interest and other than her bare midriff and fake lashes her appearance shocked me. It shocked me because she is identical to late-1990s starlet Jodi Lyn O'Keefe. Seriously.

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The girls have more than looks in common.
Both were MAXIM covergirls to promote their recent films :
Megan for Transformers
Jodi for She's All That

Both were noticed for Young Hollywood Achievements:
Jodi won a 2000 Young Hollywood Award
Megan was nominated for a 2005 Young Artist Award

Both guest-starred on "Two and a Half Men" in 2004.

Both played a character named 'Candace' at one point in her career.

And both girls rock heavily-lashed blue eyes with severely sculpted brows:
Megan
Jodi

All of which reminds how completely cookie-cutter and unoriginal Hollywood really is because sometimes I need that reminder!

My Preferred Jessica

From time to time I have to admit to a certain girl crush. Last time it was the efferevescent Mandy Moore. This time it is the stunning Ms. Biel. This confession is actually hard for me as I was so adamantly anti-Biel during her "7th Heaven" days. She was just another little starlet with limited appeal. When she skanked it up to get out of her "family-values"-laden TV show I was less impressed. She came across as kind of desperate and I really thought that she would fade into the shadows of superstar wannabe-ness.

But then Esquire named her the Sexiest Woman Alive and she did a hot bikini scene in Stealth in the summer of 2005 and then she was everywhere. But these incidents did not endear her to me. In truth, I cannot explain exactly why my views have changed but her profliferation has given me time to reflect and I have decided to like her. My positive feelings began with her turn in The Illusionist wherein she held her own with Edward Norton and Rufus Sewell. Next was the emergence of a red-carpet savviness as evidenced here, here and here. Then there is her awesome (I mean, the woman is HOT!) - and wonderfully healthy - body that hints at a well-adjusted mind under all that muscle tone.

But the thing that really convinced me this year was a recent appearance on Letterman to promote I Now Pronounce you Chuck & Larry. In the segment she was cajoled into singing karaoke and it was a fantastically sincere and awkward endeavour. So now I must admit that in the race between the 3 Jessicas (Biel, Simpson & Alba) my choice is the (ok, I admit it) talented and lady-like Biel.

If It Feels Good Do It

Sloan came to Halifax last night. I have been trying to see the band for quite some time but the dates just never gelled with other things in my life. But last night they were here and playing The Marquee. The Marquee is a great music club that is like going to Lee's Palace in Toronto or the Capital in Ottawa. It makes is fine - small - venue to see a band play. So needless to say, I was stoked about the opportunity. But then I had to find someone to see the concert with me. OK - if it had been a real crunch I may have gone alone but that wasn't my preference. So cheers to Anna for accepting my invitation. But then I had a very heavy week at work and got no sleep on Thursday night so when it came time to get ready on Friday I was almost about to bail on the entire plan. What was I thinking!? The concert was EXCELLENT. We go there just as Sloan took the stage and played a rock-fueled 90 minutes of awesomeness before heading home again. All my faves were played. It was so invigorating to be in the crowd. I loved it. It did not disappoint. And now I have one more concert "to-do" to check off my list.

Instant Squee

I have a soft spot for teen drama on TV. I grew up on Degrassi. I was a 90210 fan in highschool. And even though I am well beyond my teen years I still enjoy a good show about young people trying to make their way.

A few years ago I stumbled upon a Canadian show called "Instant Star" created by the team that brought us Degrassi all those years ago. The premise surrounds Jude Harrison, a sparkly girl with a fantastic voice, who wins an American-Idol-esque contest and now must make her way in the big, band music industry. She is supported by her best friend, her sister and her band. She gets all angsty over ex-boyband member-turned-producer Tommey Q. She battles it out with company executive Darius (Maestro Fresh Wes!). I was sucked in from the start primarily because Tommy (Tim Rozon) has perfect cupid's bow lips and Jude (Alexz Johnson - who does all her own singing on the show) is both stunning and - gasp! - likeable.

So last night, in the middle of the 3rd season, these two characters finally committed some kissage. Yay! I really am a sucker for the inevitable character hookups - especially when the characters have chemistry like these two. You can catch up on all the "Instant Star" goodness (and cheesiness - I admit it!) on the CTV broadband network. It is always good to support Canadian talent.

Atlantic Anniversary #2

This week marks my second anniversary in Halifax. I never planned to be here this long but time flies when you are living life in a fantastic city on the coast. In the last year I have managed to get good at my job and still keep my A average at school. I have actually written a few words for my research paper and managed to date more than ever before. These are all good things. Work helped me to travel a good portion of the Atlantic provinces and fun friends added other road trips like this shot from Hopewell Rocks, NB. I have also confirmed some of my favourite things:

- lamb souvlaki dinners from Athens
- italian gelato from Bottecelli's
- chai lattes from Caffe Ristretto
- late night grocery shopping at the 24-hr Sobeys
- quickie trips to Peggy's Cove
- the fantastic student subscription at the Neptune Theatre
- fish'n'chips from Phil's
- Lawrencetown, Crystal Crescent and Clam Harbour
- the Public Gardens on a sunny day
- Shakespeare by the Sea at Point Pleasant Park
- knowing how to avoid the Armdale Rotary
- swimming after work at the lake
- my football guys (they know who they are!)

In all, life here is pretty good. I only wish more of my closest friends were nearby. I have at least one year left on this edge of the country. If you have a desire to visit you better get out here!

... Year 1 ...

Phoenix Time

There is a moment in life when you get blindsided by the fact that the man you believe you could love has, in fact, fallen for someone else. This truth leads to extensive crying where you can feel the tears being squeezed from your eyes while at the same time finding it hard to pinpoint why you feel so much. Then you awake the next day and you realize that you are grieving the loss of possibility. That you are hurt by the re-opening of a rejection wound inflicted many years before. That you are mourning an end of certain things, places, and actions. But if you look deep, in that place you have been ignoring, you realize that you are not lamenting the loss of the man - himself. Part of this is because you know he will never be gone and part of this is the because you know (now) it was never what you imagined. And two days later a friend suggests how good it was to have learned, cried and realized all this while at home. In that place surrounded by those who love you so that you can be reminded of the WHO that you are. The mighty WHO that is the real you and not the unchosen girl you thought yourself to be. And then you remember a lesson from the man about THIS moment. And you repeat it ... this moment. And you pick up the mantra you had left aside weeks ago when you got lost and say it over and over ... "this moment, this moment ..." and with it you jump back into the only sure thing there is - the neverending flux and change of the world.

Maebe & Me

I finally got to meet my precious doll of a niece last week. She is SO amazing. She is smaller than Tag was and such a different personality. She has a full head of hair (obviously) that feels like soft bunny fur. And she smiles ... a lot. I actually got her to fall asleep during my visit so I felt all super-aunt-like until Kat told me to put her in the crib and I couldn't figure out how to get her off my chest and turned around without waking her up. But I managed in the end.The interesting thing about her arrival is that it makes me more motivated to be around. I would really like to be part of the lives of Tag & Maebe. I have no idea if or when I will have kids of my own so these little guys are my current chance to be part of someone's development. And they are so wonderful. Of course I can say that because I don't have them full-time! Anyway, just wanted to show off more pics. This arrival has been the highlight of my summer for sure.

... Aunt Raye Part 1 ...

A Bit of Coupling

I just got the 4 seasons of the UK TV-show "Coupling" on DVD. It is one of my favourites. It is laugh-out-loud funny and as bright as "Arrested Development". One of the most heart-warming moments is the get-together scene for Sally and Patrick. It somehow puts all the emotions of vulnerability, humour and romance into one selection. It is also a winning declaration of love and I am sucker for those things! Enjoy.

More Good News

Pisces - for July 16 to 22
Venus is now under the influence of common-sense Virgo, giving you the power to ignore the cynics... or your own negative assumptions. Pisces, you are getting over this year's identity crisis or relationship stalemate and you will begin to feel in touch with your own needs and less responsible for others' discontent. Courtesy of an accord between Mars and visionary Uranus on the 20th, you should receive solid conformation that you're supported in a professional or creative venture and that your plans for expanding your home-base or pursuing your vision are not castles in the sky. P.S. This is not the time to do your Pisces thing and turn inward. It's through contacts, friends and inspiring conversations that you will be given the map to the next cosmic crossroad... or your soul mate.

OK friends ... keep me hopping. Don't let me go all introspective cause I have sort of started already and things are going to slip away.

Evening - movie review

Every once in awhile you can find a good romance film at the theatre. I am not talking about a romanic comedy filled with contrivances and weak motivations. I am talking about a proper romance film that includes the joy, ecstacy, vulnerability, loss and sadness that love can bring. Often these films are adapted from literature and often they are period pieces. Evening is such a film.


Evening is a flashback piece. Ann Grant lays daying under the watchful eyes of her daughters. In a moment of memory-filled pain she mentions "Harris" - a name that means nothing to her children. From this moment the story unveils the history of Ann and Harris and how their love for each other changed their lives and those around them. Woven between the scenes of nostalgia is the tales of Ann's daughters - notably Nina (Toni Collette) - as they confront the loss of their mother and their own love challenges. For all involved, the film represents a tale of finding oneself in love and what that means to the relationships that women have in their lives.

Evening has a dreamlike quality that is fueled by both deathbed delusions and seaside memories. And although the editing between the worlds is not always at its best the time-shifting pace eventually becomes less intrusive. What it most exceptional about the film is the performances. A truly wonderful cast has been assembled that includes: Claire Danes, Toni Collette, Lynn Redgrave, Natashe Richardson and Meryl Streep. Add to this mix the crushworthy Hugh Dancy and Patrick Wilson and you have a two hours of pure magic. And although the film is not everyone's cup of tea it is sure to satisfy any romantic's bittersweet tooth. If you enjoyed other sentimental treats such as: How to Make an America Quilt, Sense & Sensibilty and The Joy Luck Club then add this Evening to your day.

Beautiful

Some more updated pics of my niece and nephew. Could they be cuter? I think it is images like this that give women "baby pangs". They speak of something so beautiful in new lives full of promise. I just had to share.