It's All About the Bartender, Baby!

I think one of the oldest cliches, to which I am a sad slave, is the hotness of the bartender. Bartenders are universally considered to be sexy - and for the most part they are , even when they aren't. It's likely true that the Tom Cruise cheese-fest Cocktail is partially to blame for my bartender lust. I mean, really, isn't that exactly what we want behind the bar? A bit of hotness that gets sweaty as the human temperature in the place rises. A wicked smile or saucy grin that you can imagine has been conjured just for you (and after a couple of drinks that's not so hard). A nice ass to look at when that beer is taken out of the lower fridge. The shaking and pouring and garnishing ... its all about good hands. So the allure is easy to identify.

My real-life bartender stories have been fizzily sweet enough to stoke my interest further. The one man I really loved was a bartender - who could do all the tricks. My best fling ever was built on a dare (thank you Nann!) to see if I could actually take the bartender home. Which leads me to my next point. I believe that part of the attraction of the bartender is that he is a sober man in drunk-haze environment. He's not there to scope you out. He's there to work. And so, attention from this individual is worth mucho ducets more because you think its sincere, untainted, straight up. Bartenders of course are completely aware of this element to their role and will work you (and your wallet) as best they can. You know the bartender is good if you get all the goosebumps and never feel cheated the next day.

Currently, my friend J-man is a bartender. Everyone should have a bartender friend, because even as the bartender is full of hot notions, he is still a provider of alcohol and you want one of them in your corner! Its fun to visit J-man because he works those angles. What's better is that he exudes all the bartender qualities you expect but he hasn't let it go to his head ... yet. And because I know a friendly, neighbourhood bartender I come to my third point, my love of a modern social cliche - the martini. Thanks to the fast pouring of J-man I have been introduced to the raspberry chocolate martini. My favourite flavours in a single, iced glass, of intoxicating perfection. I'm not a fan of straight liquor, which makes traditional martini drinking difficult. But this new brand of sweetness is all I need. Last night we added an After Eight martini to the list of musts - my favourite chocolate in liquid form!

So in the end, I guess this ramble is a thank you note to a school buddy who, in the dark hole that is Sudbury nightlife, has offered me two lovely cliches without any excuses: a bartender and a martini. What else are friends for?