Eye of the Beholder

What is beautiful? What is hot?

Following on the heels of my previous post, I must comment on the lack of beauty-recognition in my "real" life. Last night, at the super-duper birthday bash of some friends, the topic of hotness came up alot. Thanks to the help of my cousin's hair straightener (Must get a ceramic one! $150!!! Maybe have to wait.) I was rocking very smooth & straight hair that garnered many compliments. Mixed with a sprakly eyes and a flirty shirt, I was apparently looking very nice. And yet...the flaw comments were still very easy to generate. The first response is still to find the crack in the finish or the problem with the attribute. Why is this so?

And I was not the only one. Every women conversation I had dealt at some point with the challenge of feeling beautiful and attractive. In particular because one of the hosts (our very own Fickle Feline) had blogged about this same topic last week! Sadly, it appears that the most effective way to reaffirm hot status is to have it declared by the opposite sex. Maybe this is because our beautifying in often done with (for my hetersexual self anyway) men in mind. So when my friend Scott tells me I look great, it somehow hits home more than when my friend Cathy does it. Or the random moments - such as the guy that approached Cathy at the subway station just to comment on her beauty. Wow!

The one consolation is that women are not the only ones in this game. Men are just as insecure in many ways. One such friend is so frustrating about this particular esteem issue. He consistently makes body-conscious remarks but to see him you want to hit him for his ridiculousness. Recently I got to see some pics that reveal him to have a truly lust-afterable torso (what men want - what women want men to have!) and I think its time he gave his head a shake and embrace the fact that he's got "it".

But I can't possibly enforce such edicts when I can't follow them myself. So maybe we all need to step away from the mirror and put more stock in the reflections of our friends. Ahhhhh, wouldn't that be hot!