FYI...

"I have outgrown the boys of my youth but not yet grown into the men of my future" - Carrie Bradshaw

Nothing could be closer to the truth.

Coldness

Sick today. That cold is creeping in. After inhaling airplane air, visiting with sick friends, and wandering the damp HFX streets on Saturday night I have become a germbag. It sucks.

I have a VERY busy week ahead of me and being sick is not going to be helpful. It hit Sunday but was hidden by my tiredness from the previous night so I didn't really take notice. Yesterday it haunted me at work but seemed to mellow in the evening after a good meal of comfort food. But this morning - after tossing and turning all night - I was up at 6am and FEELING it! No work for me - cancel my meetings - back to bed.

I know my body - a cold like this (fingers crossed it does not evolve into the flu!) will last me a week with late Wednesday/Thursday being the tipping point. So today is crucial for preventative measures of rest, liquids, echinacea, etc. I have never gotten a flu shot before ... but this season, as I look at my schedule ahead I'm thinking it might a be a good year to get one. I'll keep you posted. Going to fill up my hot water bottle now and try to warm up. sniff.

Tanya Town

Tanya left us on the coast today as she joined the wild world of Toronto living. But in true Tanya fashion we all took it upon ourselves to rock the harbour-city hardcore before she left. I made the mistake of drinking rye so I was a complete disaster by nights end. I even lost my cell phone - so that really sucks. But it was also a fabulous party that ended, appropriately, at Pizza Corner. So here is a collection of images from last night's "shenanigans" featuring the infamous Ms. Jones...

There are other faces from the festivities as well. They can all be found on my MSN Space.

Two Days in Trawna

In another random moment of my life I got to go to Toronto for work and a bit of time off. It was a quick two-day trip but it was jam-packed full of friendly goodness. I am always amazed at how awesome my friends and family can be to work me into their schedules on short notice and remind me how much I am loved. It is a great feeling to have good people in my life. I forget it sometimes and lately, I needed the refresher so the trip was a good one. I spent a pubby Wednesday night with Jodi and learned a lot about entrepreneurship and got some clear dating advice. I spent Thursday afternoon with my cousin and we chatted, drank, ate and shopped as if life wasn't trying to confine us at all. I think I gained 5 pounds that day. That night I had girlie catch-up time with Cathy in her NEW home. And then Friday I enjoyed some phad thai and Scott filled me in on fatherhood and basketball goodness in a quick lunch that was just right. And finally I made the trek out to my brother's NEW home (note to self: taxi on the 401 during rush hour is not fun) to hang with them and my nephew. FYI ... my nephew ROCKS! He is amazing. He calls me Gray ... it's funny. I love him to pieces. What a great way to end this week.

The Prestige- movie review

I was filled with anticipation to see The Prestige. It is a film that re-teams Batman Begins director (Christopher Nolan) and stars (Christian Bale & Micheal Caine) and adds the fun of Scoop duo Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johanson. It is a film about magic and intrigue and betrayal. And in the previews it looks SOOOOO cool!

To say that The Prestige stayed with me long after the credits rolled is an understatement. Although my initial reaction was mere satisfaction my feelings evolved to being impressed. This change in sentiment is due mainly to the dark center of the tale.

On the surface, The Prestige is about two magicians who were once colleagues but fall out after a tragic death during a show. In the years that follow the story traces Jackman's obsession with Bale's career and a need (by both men) to be the best magician ever. When Bale enveils a trick that seems to have him teleporting it is all Jackman can do to find the secret and best his old mate at the same game. And the price both men pay is nothing short of disturbing!

Nolan does an excellent job of showcasing the motivations of the characters while still keeping the important strings hidden. Trick versus reality are consistently played against each other on various levels of the film and the assertion that the simplest answer cannot be the right one is questioned. As well, the film explores the scientific developments of the time (most obviously electricity). Through this backdrop the lives of the magicians ponder notions of the threats of advancement and the ethics of technology - an interesting subtext in a film about deception.

In the end, all is revealed with sad results. The twists and turns are indeed fascinating and the final element shocking (if you believe it!). And although it was not as captivating as I would have hoped the competent hands of everyone involved pays off the pledge well enough.

The R Word

Yeah, there are lots of R-words, especially in the Raye-verse, but one causes me particular trouble. I seem to get all messed up when this word is in play and I can't quite figure out how to be me. I also have a chronic condition of turning fantasy into a dissatisfying reality when this word is being used. The word is relationship. I don't know what it is about this word that makes me crazy but it has the effect of making me try to do something, be something, create something instead of just letting things be. This behaviour was emphasized recently during a conversation about the state of one of my relationships - and interestingly, the minute it was decided that no relationship was to occur I felt instantly relaxed, more myself and everything had an ease that it had been lacking. This result is not the first one. I am reminded of a similar event with a guy I was dating out west ... we got along wonderfully and decided to try the relationship thing. And low and behold it got tense and wacky and we decided not to continue. And then once that decision was made we became the comfortable people who liked each other again. I don't know what it is but it is yet another revelation to work on.

The Departed - movie review

Seriously, it is hard to write a review for Scorcese's latest mob offering without dropping the F-word.
One - because it is so prolific in the film itself your mind just adopts it and
Two - because the movie is fucking fantastic!

In honesty, I think I could stop my review there. The movie is exceptional. Go see it. End of story. But that wouldn't be very nice and, for anyone with a gentle stomach for the profane, not very fair. The Departed is unapologetically direct and you have to be able to revel in that to fully enjoy the ride.

Essentially, the film is a story about allegiance and honour. It is about identity and truth. And it is about the crumbling of all of those things. The story revovles around two young cops (Leo DiCaprio and Matt Damon) whose lives become wonderfully intertwined with the Irish mob, undercover investigation and a hot psychologist. At times, the coincidences might seem far-fetched but Scorcese does a good job of making the tight universe plausible and engrossing. Unlike Micheal Mann's Heat that wandered through the lives of an increasing cast - The Departed takes an intensely similar look at character relationships but with a much narrower lens.

This tack might have been suffocating to the film if not for the fine casting. Jack Nicholson is finally back with some grit in his teeth after his sojourn as a mainstream man-in-crisis in Something's Gotta Give, About Schmidt, and As Good As it Gets. And as Irish mob kingpin Costello he is magnetic. But the film truly rests on the shoulders of Damon and DiCaprio and the audience could not do better. Whatever you think about the young actors - both prove themselves to be worthy screen presences. As adversaries they are well-matched with the golden boy looks of Damon challenging the saddened scruffiness of DiCaprio. I personally, have always held these two actors to the top in their generation and they do not disappoint. DiCaprio brings a physicality to the role that is intoxicating. Damon offers a charmed menace and highlights that his career isn't even close to ending.

Around these characters, Scorcese adds a gruff Alec Baldwin, a mouthy Mark Wahlberg, and an exasperated Martin Sheen. Token love interest Vera Farmiga is forgettable eye candy but likely a good choice for the woman that just happens to get caught up in the mess. And mess it becomes. A blown-brains out, leaking guts kind of mess. And yet, shocking as some of it is (execution-style killings are seldom NOT shocking) it never feels unnecessary. No one dies without it being part of someone's plan. And it is following this plan, convoluted as it is, that keeps you waiting for the final departure.

Clarity, Courage and the Cosmos

For those of you who have not seen me in awhile I got a new tattoo in March. Ordinarily I would have posted that news right away but I decided to wait for two things first: 1) showing my parents - which happened in July and 2) having a moment when it made sense - which is now.

The tattoo is the chinese character for clarity. And if you have been following this blog at all, you will know that clarity has been a theme of mine this year. The placement of the tattoo is to remind me about being true to myself - being clear about what my gut tells me. It is a constant reminder to not lie to myself. It is a reminder of things I have experienced that I rather wish I had had the strength to stop. It is a reminder to be pro-active in my life.

These comments have resonance this week as I am confronted with a decision that includes all of the elements. It is about being honest with myself. It is about taking a stand for what is right for me. And it is a decision that, a year ago, I would probably have been too weak to make. Thank goodness that things change.

As well, I am receiving some cosmic reinforcement this week. Another portentous horoscope landed in my lap in the midst of my decision-making process. It offered these words...

Your addiction is obstructing you from your destiny, and yet it's also your ally. How can both be true? On the downside, your addiction diverts your energy from a deeper desire that it superficially resembles. ... On the upside, your addiction is also your ally, because it dares you to get strong and smart enough to wrestle free of its grip on you; it pushes you to summon the fierce willpower necessary to defeat the darkness within you that would obstruct you from your destiny.

I'm not going to share my addiction with you or the decision that requires attention. If you know me then you will know. And you will agree that clarity is coming to me in all sorts of good ways.