Destination HFX

Goodbye Sudbury. Hello East Coast.

Naked Farewell

Last night in the "big smoke' that is Sudbury. Spent the last minutes of the day and the early hours of the new one at the local ripper place. A good turnout of the usual suspects: Beth, Jman, SS, Briguy, Chantal, Jess, Tony. Sipping rye and gingers and discussing plastic sky-heels. Assessing music selections and bored expressions. Laughing and smiling and staring and, for one of us, blushing. It doesn't take much to identify your friends in a room with day-glo murals and a ledged stage. It doesn't need to be said that I will miss them all. But I've said it anyway. Nothing like making a local strip joint the maker of fond memories.

Stealth - movie review

In the simplest terms, Stealth is movie crack. That means it possesses no redeeming qualities other than the buzz it gives you before it drops you back into your mediocre life. It is also highly addictive, with Stealth's director Rob Cohen (The Fast and the Furious & XXX) being a common dealer of choice. (The other being Dominic Sena - Gone in 60 Seconds & Swordfish.) In fact, the Cohen signature - adrenalinized visuals, tricked-out CGI scene transitions, seductive closeups on up-and-coming leading men - may be enough to get your butt into the theatre. In which case, you are an addict. Hi, My Name is Raye. And I am an addict.

Stealth is about naval "aviators" who are the best at what they do. Lucky for the Navy, "the best" happen to be an equal opportunity dream. There is the lead captain - the scrumptious Josh Lucas - who gets the most screentime with his blue eyes and cheeky smile. He's also got one of the best voices to be brought out of the U.S. in ages. He's Ben, and apparantly he has some issues about his job cause he's very reluctant to seperate the actions from consequences in war. His second - the posing, this?-is-your-post-Oscar-role? Jamie Foxx - offers the 'brother' quotient to the story. It also ensures his bit-player status which was a surprise considering his current celebrity and suggests that the contract for Stealth was likely signed before Ray hit the big screen. The third - the action girl pinup Jessica Biel - is the girl. But she's a strong girl and by the end you can't help but give her props for toughing it out like a trooper. She also brings a great ass to the picture that is obviously exploited in more scenes than necessary (it's a perfect drinking game item = spot Jessica's butt in the frame ... take one shot!)

After this trio is established, the film sets up the challenge of overcoming the introduction of a digital plane to the team. Let's keep it simple again and say that chaos ensues. But this is not to discount the beauty of the chaos. Cohen does an admirable job of presenting us with engaging action, many explosions, and incredible scenery. The first great flaw comes in the vidoe-game look of the flight sequences. Although they may work for a target audience that is used to having a joystick in hand, they deliver little to a filmgoer. The second is the complete lack of payoff in the romance. Lucas and Biel build excellent chemistry in the opening scenes but the film leaves the viewer ultimately unsatisfied. With two such beautiful people, I expect a solid sex scene - especially when the trailer is teasing with kisses.

By the end, Stealth has hit all the predictable points, presented some invigorating moments, and ended with a smart remark. I just wished I got to see more of Josh in that white uniform - white being the common colour substance addiction afterall.

Degrassi Still Rules!

In the middle of the afternoon on a Thursday, Showcase delivers the classic School's Out - otherwise known as the Degrassi movie. Just priceless. It takes NO time to get completely sucked in. Characters arrive at the grad party and I know everyone's name. And eventhough it's been 14 years (can you believe that!), I know the entire story too. It has it all - just as I remember. Joey's hounddog ways. The tempting Tessa Campenelli. Kaitlin's hair. Lucy's spandex. The engagements. The sex. The drugs. The beer. The abortion. The drunk-driving. The break-up. All the joys and all the consequences that are only found at that bridge between adolescence and adulthood. And it's all captured in a realism that highlights the failings of today's slick, WB programming. Because beyond the wooden performances, the mullets, and the oversize shirts, Degrassi offers an honesty about youth that makes it captivating (sincerely nostalgic rather than embarrassing) - even after all this time.

"Average" Hotness

So the girl finally picked the "Average Joe" tonight. First, I gotta say that I am not an avid watcher of Joe - to me it's akin to hockey where I'll skip the entire season but tune in for the final game. In the last two nights, Anna has been tormented by her choice between Rocky and Nathan. From my front-row audience seats it was NO contest. But then, I don't think a single season of this show (or the others like it) has ended with a sigh of satisfaction. Usually I want to kick my television. But not tonight because the "right" choice was made. Anna chose someone who's company she enjoyed without having to be nekkid. She chose someone who shares her interests. She chose someone who is interested in her family, her life, and the part he could play in it. This man was Nathan.

Okay, so she had eliminated him ages ago and it was only through the opportunity of a hotness make-over that he got a second chance. So in one way, it continues to reaffirm the Joe standard = looks always win. But rather it just highlights that they are important - and if more "average" guys took this hint we would all be happier. So guys? - get that haircut, remember to groom yourself, shop for body-appropriate and stylin threads. If you do your chances of a hot redhead (or similar specimen) taking the time to notice your wit, intelligence, sensitivity, and heart will go up. Or so reality TV tell us.

For Shoe!

"I like my money where I can see it ... hanging in my closet." - Carrie Bradshaw
These days I'm spending most of my hours packing my life into boxes and bags. The big transportation sequence begins this weekend and I only have the space afforded by a mini-van and a K-car to haul it all. The challenge? My closet. The culprit? My shoes. You see, shoes are a pain to pack (just as they are a pain to store, and occassionally a pain to wear) because they are not compact like my jersey dresses or damage-immune like my jeans. Shoes need room if you want to keep them remarkable.

At the moment I possess:
9 pairs of flip-flops (in varying degrees of casualness)
5 pairs of boots (in different heights)
7 pairs of black dress and/or business high heels
3 pairs of "cute" running shoes (including a red pair of Converse)
6 pairs of summer pumps (as in - open-toed and fun coloured)
5 pairs of random shoes for random occassions and activities (ie: athletic sandals)
Total? 35 pairs of shoes
At an average cost of $35 bucks a pair (yeah, I'm cheap) that's $1225, or about the same as my new laptop. Hmmmm - are we sure shoes aren't considered assets?

But is this amount high? Low? Average? I don't think you can determine it using a concrete figure. The damage is assessed using the "percentage of earning power" tactic. Therefore, any woman's preference (Payless or Manolo) and pocketbook (princess to pauper) can be compared. Currently, my collection represents about 8% of my income. What about you?

BBQ Goes Best with a Couple of Buds

It takes me a long time to make friends. I'm sort of a "friendship procrastinator" in the way the I put-off making friends until they (or I) am about to leave. It's a nasty habit! I've also been know to make poor first impressions with some friends - Daver being a prime example who admitted to actually disliking me "in the beginning". However, once I become friends with people I work very hard to keep them and my life is richer for them.

Yesterday Beth held a BBQ. It was a farewell thing for me as well as a "redo" for BBQ that got nixed by rain in May. The weather was perfect and it was a great event. Our gatherings tend to centre on a specific group of people (shout out to wings regulars!) and those in attendance were the core. As a group we are sure to have good laughs, sarcastic teasing, sexual frankness (thanks Beth!) and life vs. business debates (my bad!). Add a cooler of beer and things can go for hours. As was the case yesterday when we finally wrapped up the "evening" at 5am! Beth swears that she isn't a good hostess - but this is a total lie. It is also irrelevant because she makes orgasmic frozen-peanut-butter pie and divine taco salad. She could probably light her guests on fire and as long as she served them salad and pie (in particular Jman) they would be happy campers.

I consider myself lucky to have built fantastic friendship circles from so many of my experiences: the highschool gals, the Katimavik hags, the Sydney crew, the Ryerson gang. I only hope that my MBA colleauges are half as awesome. And I'll try to be friendly sooner rather than later!

The Island - movie review

Michael Bay has been making movies for 10 years. In fact, this summer's entry is a 10th Anniversary present of his film-making (his first feature - Bad Boys - was a summer of '95 release). Now with most relationships one would expect things to be getting better, deeper, more intimate at the 10-year-mark, but it appears that Bay didn't get that memo. He seems to have forgotten that one expects diamonds after 10 years - and The Island is no diamond.

Okay, the film has some diamond-like qualities:
1) It is shiny and bright for a start. No drab realism here, the film exists in a world of sharp colours and illuminated tints (something I really like actually!).
2) It is dazzling. Most obviously the beauty is found in the cast - a group of unconvential hotness that is captured in a running series of slow-mo poses. Scarlet Johansson with wide eyes and wind-swept hair. Ewan McGregor - times two! in a suave suit version or dusty leather mode - with swaggering walk and infectious smile. Djimon Hounsou dripping with chiselled, ebony manliness.
3) It is hard. There are no moments of weepiness or soft edges. The entire film is cut in deliberate angles that reflect distrust and danger at every turn.
4) It is clear, or rather, transparent. There is no challenge to see where the film is going or for whom one must cheer. And although admired in diamonds, perfect clarity is a falsehood in relationships and an emptiness in films.

The Island is the story of Lincoln Six Echo (McGregor) and Jordan Two Delta (Johansson). (The film takes time to explain the names as if to prove that someone really thought about the movie but it is a discussion that is both unnecessary and flawed.) Both characters are clones that live in a colony that resembles an intense wellness center for fitness and purity freaks. The entire clone population, of course, has NO idea that they are the "property" of "real" people out in the world. They have been manufactured as replacement-part recepticals for the weathy. The world is maintained through three key devices: developmental control that inhibits natural human interaction, mass belief in a contaminated external world, and propaganda about "the island" - the last safe zone. The story is jump-started when Lincoln's curiosity gets the better of him and all hell breaks loose as he tries to fight for his (and Jordan's) life. It seems that the "sponsors" believe their organ donors to be genetically-perfect vegetables. They are not supposed to be walking, talking, feeling humans! The secret must be maintained! At all costs! Using as much destructive force as necessary!

From the description, it can be seen that The Island has the potential to be an engaging, dialogue-instigating film. The nature of humanity is begging to be explored. The first creature Lincoln and Jordan encounter upon escaping from their sanitary and harmonious world is a snake - a blatant reference to the biblical "fall from innocence". Jordan is exposed to sexualization scenarios three times but none bother to investigate the impact on the neutral characters but rather pushes them towards the act itself. Lincoln faces an extreme amount of violence and yet maintains his composure well beyond what his societal training should allow.

Bay seems to see these story cues as pesky hornets that are to be swatted away lest they sting the viewer with intelligent thought. His implement of choice is a loud, frenetic action sequence. Bay is known for cutting the life out of his action and The Island is no exception. An inability to see what is happening mixed with a seizure-inducing pace and soundtrack make his action unsatisfying. When the sequences are done to yank one away from interesting moments that have promise, they become downright frustrating.

The true story of this film is not the cat-and-mouse adventure. It is in the study of how humans interact and what about those interactions make us human. It is on these grounds that The Matrix proved so satisfying. If Bay had cut his freeway chase and helicopter shots and created scenes where the innocence of Lincoln and Jordan confronts hate, greed, envy, jealousy, lust, ect. then he could have done something intriguing. But instead, Bay chooses to emulate I, Robot and punctuate his story with exclamation points rather than questions. Definitely not an anniversary worth remembering.