Summer Garden

Today is the first full day of summer. It rained today but most of that has passed into a calm evening. As I look outside these days my heart bursts with happy pride for my garden. My herb garden has become an abundant collection of aromatic bunches.


At the end of May I planted some vegetables for the season. A mixed assortment of lettuce, zucchini, cucumber, tomatoes and snow peas. My boyfriend laughed at me when a recent trip to Canadian Tire yielded my purchase of six bags of dirts. Sadly, the snow peas were ravaged by backyard critters and did not survive the week. But the enriched soil for the vegetables seems to have hit the spot with all the other plants taking over their corner with steadfast determinination. The lettuce has matured into delectable rows of salad sweetness. The tomatoes are pushing the boundaries of their cages and starting to show-off their dainty yellow flowers.


Upon advice from my Mom (even from a distance she is VERY helpful!) I removed the zucchini plants from the main garden and into a pot of their own. This choice was the correct on as the plant quickly grew into a leafy monster to rival our hosta godzilla in size. I had no idea that zucchini plants would grow so large! My fingers are crossed for some good eating off of this beauty!


It has been a month since my Mom's visit and our planting party. The yard has grown green and bright. The twiggy trees have sprouted new branches and wave their leafy hands in to the air. The dormant annuals planted by tenants past have filled corners with their consistent greenery. The flowers have taken root and continue to thrust their happy blossom faces towards the sunshine. It wasn't so long ago that the stones along the edge were the most striking feature of the garden and now they have settled into place and actually accent the continuous growth around them. I can hardly believe that the garden has gone from this to what you see below in only 4 weeks!


The power of plants amazes me. And I do love the gardening now. One of my favourite things to do on the weekend is spend some time doing the weeding. Getting the earth in the beds broken up and making sure that the home for my plants stays in good shape is a small joy for me. I like the sense of being creative and productive at the same time. I found this quote from a famous English gardener names Gertrude Jekyll (whom I think I would like since she was known more as a garden "planter" than a garden "designer") that sums up my new feelings:

A garden is a grand teacher. It teaches patience and careful watchfulness; it
teaches industry and thrift; above all it teaches entire trust.

In the end, the gardens help to make our city rental a beautiful home. I still don't know much about plants and I firmly believe that a lot of the splendor is due to luck more than know-how but I am starting to trust it will all work out.

Fathers and Sons

Father's Day was an interesting one for me this year because I actually spent it with two fathers in my family.

One was my actual father - in the biological sense - and if you have known me for awhile he might be a new figure to you. My parents separated just before I was eight years old and were divorced shortly afterward. My mom relocated my brother and I to Ontario while my Dad started a new family in Albert. So for 26 years I have lived quite a distance from my Dad making regular visits a challenge.

Last spring I was finally able to visit him and it was the first time in 7 years that I had been there! That sounds crazy to some people. To others it is a normal reality of living in a heavily-divorced culture. But this year he came to visit us and that visit happened to occur on Father's Day. So I got to give my Dad a bona fide hug on the Day of Dads for the first time in a looooong time. And that was kind of cool.


The second father is the first son and my brother. It has been very interesting coming back to Ontario and spending a lot of time with my brother's family. My brother and I have been living at a distance since I was 19 and so my up-close memories of him have always tended towards him being the "cool" sibling to my "square" self. Now I get to see him in his role as a provider, a guardian, a husband, a role model, a father. I watch my nephew and niece shower him with the affection reserved for dads and see them quiver under the respect that daddy's discipline demands. I am very impressed with the dad my brother has become.

The second son is my brother's little boy and the only grandchild of my Dad to bear the family name (so far!). I wonder if someday he will be a father and if I will still be around to see it. So we had three generations of the male bloodline together for the day. In many families that might be normal but for mine it is a rare occurrence and totally worth celebrating. Happy Father's Day.

Ready ... Set ... Go!

"Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives." (Frederick F. Flack)

This blog has charted many of my course corrections over the years. Looking back in the archives you can find many posts filled with "what next?" anxiety and an equal number describing my decided next step. It is interesting to see how many of those next steps have not been taken, especially in the last few years when I wasn't writing updates.


The last two years have been an marathon of detours and discoveries and yet here I am, in Ontario, doing what I said I would do three years ago - come home. I have realized that any sort of PhD study is not in the current deck of cards being dealt. Maybe the next deck will have them and a new hand can be played at that time. But for now, I am happy to settle into being where I am. I am content to relax in the fact that I KNOW what I will be doing 6 months from now. I am optimistic that a number of things I have wanted in my life are falling from the future and into my present. I guess what it really all means is that I am, finally, ready ... for the rest of my life.

My Body Goes to Boot Camp

This week I joined a Boot Camp exercise program. Two nights a week I subject myself to a demanding workout routine that includes such things as: burpees, star jumps, frog squats, plank scissors and abdonimal curls along with running jags, sprint sessions and lots of skipping. Seriously, I haven't done that much skipping since I was 9! It is difficult. For 45 minutes I feel like I am going to fall over - ok, I did fall over once. I wonder how I got to the point that I cannot do 5 minutes of exercise that relies on pushing my own body weight around. And then I reflect on why I started the class in the first place - my body weight.

To say that my body and I are BFFs would be a lie. We consistenly betray each other for our own selfish reasons. I try to poison my body with alcohol and sugar and caffiene and ruffles and donuts. My body responds by adding another ring around my mid-section. Exhibit A:


It is an uneasy partnership at best. So this week I decided that it was time to get back on the same page with my body. My stressed out mind and over-working emotions had run the show loooooong enough. The excuses of Christmas and a new job and a move and a new apartment and a relocating boyfriend let me throw my structure out the window. And, my body, free from the rules, ran amok in a self-destructive frenzy. Exhibit B:


But I know that when I am actually paying attention to my body the response is positive. There are thoughts that abound in the world that you should treat your body like a temple but I have decided that the best plan is to treat my body like a child. A child that I love. A child to whom I pay attention. A child to whom I give structure - even if it seems harsh at the time. I know this can work because I spent last fall being a positive mentor to my body. I exercised regularly. I cleansed my cravings. I built menus and ate well-designed meals throughout the day. And I felt great. Now all that positive work gone.

So I am in boot camp. I am throwing my body around in the hopes that will once again crave the activity. Right now I admit to being so sore it hurts to even lie down but the start of a rush is there. I have also started to count my calories again. I find this tactic very helpful when evaluating my menus and finding my trouble spots (Hello Popcorn! Good Morning Tim Hortons Muffin! Happy Weekend Pint of Beer!). I use an easy and comprehensive website to chronicle my noshing. It's where I got that nifty (scary?) chart above. And I am going to make that line fall again. One burpee, starjump, pushup, skip and calorie at a time and my body and I will be a team once more.

Sex and the City 2 - movie review

The second "Sex and the City" movie has received A LOT of bad press. The critics have been less than kind about the film. It has been percieved as a bloated, mis-directed and empty movie experience. It has been laughed at for spending more on the costume budget than anything else. It has been called an out-dated and over-ripe fruit full of lacklustre labour. And worse of all, it has been condemned for forgetting what the series was all about. And so, with less than 2stars overall, the second film version of the seminal TV series is not getting its due at the box office. And this is a shame.

I will admit that I was not in love with the first film. And I was surprised that a second film was made at all. However, the film achieves most of what it aims to do and that makes it a success. We are entering a new age of film-adapted movies and I would suggest that the regular rules no longer apply. Elements such as 'narrative arc', 'character development', and 'essence of conflict' are not as important for these types of films. And while the critics will continue to lambast a film that does not possess them, an audience will still understand.

Yes, SATC2 is missing these things but it does not matter. The audience knows these characters and so development is not the motive. The audience is there to visit "friends" they have come to love through television. It is this very thing that removes the need for a traditional narrative arc. The audience is used to experiencing the trials of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda in an episodic fashion. So, while some might see the film as a loooong, untethered story it is, in fact, a series of five episodes put together to fulfill a larger sense of story. There is the wedding episode. The life frustration episode. The travel abroad episode. The return of the past episode. And the true love episode. Just like the television show it is Carrie's drama that propels the actions through these episodes. And for fans of the series nothing more is needed. They get to spend a couple hours with the ladies going forward on their lives. What else where we paying for?

Which brings us to the point of conflict. Much of the derision about the film rests with the relocation to Abu Dhabi for the majority of the story-telling. Director Michael Patrick King once said that New York City was the fifth central character in the show and now that quote is coming back to haunt him. If that is the case, HOW could most of the film happen somewhere else? But this is the point. NYC has become emblematic of the girls' single lives. It is the place that they searched, and fought and loved and sexed until this point and now, sadly, life is not all they hoped it would be. Miranda has made partner but work is not fulfilling and she is missing the joys in motherhood. Charlotte finally has two beautiful daughters and she is completely overwhelmed. Samantha is feeling her mojo disappear through menopause. Carrie is married and the excitement of her dating life is gone. So if the city is the fifth character then the city is in peril. It is withered. It is a testament to the past. It is everything the girls' thought they wanted until they had it. Which is why the relocation for film two is the best choice to highlight the conflicts in life and help all four ladies come to terms with it. And, for a series hell-bent on fighting the norms of women and sex in society what better location than a place that clearly represents the contrast of progress and tradition: Abu Dhabi.

The film has been scolded for poking fun at Arabian women and suggesting, inappropriately, that the American way is better. But I do not think this is the point of the film. The location is established as a mirror for the struggles of our girls who are all fighting with their own traditional challenges in the face of progress. And so, in this way, being a modern woman is evaluated in light of the long-standing roles of mother, wife and crone. New challenges for the fab four means new city. And when they return home they are able to make peace with their new roles and thus welcome the fifth character back into their hearts. And so SATC2 is not a waste of celluloid. For those women who have grown up close in age to the ladies they will be able to see what is going on with the film and they will love it. They will also love the ludicrous fashion. And the return of Aiden. And the loving moments between characters that make them cry. Really, what more do you want?

Millennium Girl

I spent the month of May in Sweden. Not literally but definately literature-ly. It all be gan with my need for a new book to read (I can't go long without a book on the go) while visiting my parents in Sudbury. The Shoppers had a paperback copy of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" and I had heard good things about it. So I bought the book and I couldn't put it down. All 841 pages became my page-turning crack for the roadtrip and my succeeding commuter trips in the following weeks.

The book follows the story of Mikael Blomkvist, a journalist, who gets wrapped up in a decades old murder mystery. Eventually, Blomkvist connects with private investigation researcher/hacker Lisbeth Salander who is facing her own demons while trying to help Blomkvist find the ones involved in his case. The book is a fantastic mixture of pulp fiction, social commentary and addictive mystery. It is also somewhat disturbing as the crimes of characters are revealed and the victimization of others is described. Before I even finished the first book I had picked up the second in the series knowing that I wasn't ready to abandon Blomkvist and Salander just yet.

"The Girl who Played with Fire" is the second installment and it takes the the history of a key character one step further into a political thriller of epic proportions. The story examines the impacts of power and how the balance of it does not always equate even in a world where logic is based on equality. Once again I couldn't put the book down. It became my commuting companion and as I looked around, I saw others reading the first or second book. One day a lady stopped on the the streetcar to talk to me about the book. It feels as if the novels are reaching a Twilight-style phenomenon this season. While the books became best-sellers in Europe over 5 years ago they are finally reaching a mass audience in North America. And then it was a Sunday afternoon and I only had 50 pages left in book two. With 20 minutes left before the book store closed I was trucking down the sidewalk to buy third installment. I could not wait. I could not take my 30-minute commute with empty hands.

And so, "The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" made it into my life.
And what a tale it is. The politics of book two play out in a story about a government's full-on assault against an individual's rights and a law drama to tie it all together. All three books feature Blomkvist and Salander - an odd partnership that reveals the bounds of true friendship under uber-challenging circumstances. When the last book ended I was almost at peace.

Rumour has it that the author - Stieg Larsson - had 10 books planned in the series. His death in 2004 occurred shortly after he provided the manuscripts for the three books now known as "The Millennium Trilogy". Recently, the Swedish film adaptation of the first book made it into North American cinemas. It is gritty, deliberate and a reasonably faithful portrayal of the book. While any film series will struggle to put over 2100 pages of story onto the screen, the second Swedish adaptation will be on screens in July and Hollywood is working on its own adaptation. But before the frenzy about "the Girl" takes hold, you should take time to read the series. It is the perfect trilogy for summer beach season. And it might even make you think. Long live Blomkvist and Salander!!

How Does Your Garden Grow

My thumbs have never been green. If anything, my hands distinctly hold the shade of botanical death. I have been known to actually kill cacti - and they can live in some darn inhospitable regions. I accidentally froze a jade plant to death just by putting it on a windowsill. To date, every houseplant I have transplanted has whithered away. In order to save more green lives from an undeserving demise I have held off on living plants in my home and focused my attention on already-doomed cut flowers and cheap-and-forever fake blooms.

But then I moved into my new place in Toronto and it came with both a front flower bed and an ample garden space in the backyard. I decided to give these areas some attention and have since become captivated with trying to populate these soily spaces and keep my newly acquired plants alive and thriving.


The first step was getting some help. And who better to help than my mom, who has, throughout my life always managed to grow something. I also thought it would be a nice way for us to bond since we have not shared any garden adventures since I was about 5 years old and shucking peas was my responsibility.

At the end of April my mom came down to Toronto to spend the weekend with me. Of course I know nothing about plants so when my mom asked what I would like to have in the garden my only response was: "Something blue?" We toured the Canadian Tire for supplies - my first trowel! - and dirt. We got a few small pansies and some snapdragons but the selection was not great. Our next stop at the Loblaws garden centre was more rewarding. We got some bigger pansies - Giganticos! - some daisy-looking bunches and some herbs. We also got two tomato plants to get them started. The convenience stores at the top of my street (they ALL sell flowers!) provided us with ivy and some marigolds.


We devoted the Saturday to picking, plucking and planting. In truth, my mom did alot of the transplanting and I did most of the weeding. She showed me how to dig the deep edge along the beds to keep the grass from infiltrating and I turned over the soil in the bed to mizx it with a growing mix and hummus mixture. Thankfully the sun was out all day but my back began to ache and my feet and hands were filthy. We tried to use gloves but in the end it was easier to alot of things with my bar hands.


Finally we got all the plants into their places. I got a flower box for the railing of the front porch and filled it with periwinkly, ivy and purple pansies. Then I had to water everything. I didn't have a garden hose so the old-fashioned method was employed. Trying to saturate a flower bed with a watering can takes quite a few trips. But it was worth it! The flowers really helped the yard to look lively and bring a touch of spring to the house.


A month later and things are going well. The trees are finally getting buds and I have discovered that annuals from years past are sprouting in the gardens. I am very grateful to the past tenants who planted before me because it isn't cheap to fill a garden and it is great that I didn't have to buy all the filler! I also took a number of trips down to the beach and collected rocks to line the beds. The front was done all in shades of grey and the back in mixed stones. I contructed the inukshuk from spare brick I found on the property. It was done for my boyfriend who really likes the emblem. It firmly stays that "we are here".


I look at the gardens and I have to smile. My mom was so helpful, the weather has been sunny and the flowers are blooming well. I have plans to make a herb garden and a section has been setup for vegetables which I will do later this month. It still looks sort of sparse to me but I have to remember that he earth is full of magic just waiting to grow. If the day lillies are any indication then more treasures will soon be pushing up into the air and filling up the spaces. Time to go water everything. Admittedly, the whole "gardening" thing is a bit addictive and I have to keep my thumb green while it lasts.

Home Is Where The Start Is

So this is where it begins. My boyfriend arrives today. YAY! After three months of long distance and three weeks of moving preparation anxiety he will be finally be here. The very thought of it fills my brain with girlie giggles about our upcoming together-ness. I cannot help thinking about how his arrival marks the start of the next stage of our lives. We have left our east coast setting behind. We are embarking on new career paths. We are consolidating our lives into the little house below.


And of course I am completely freaked out. Yes, it is true. While my life has been relatively simple this past month - work, commute, eat, read, sleep, repeat - my boyfriend has been sorting and packing the elements of our life in a frenzy. We decided to take an economical approach which forced a drastic purge in our belongings. Purging is not my boyfriend's strong suit. Leaving the fate of my personal effects in the hands of others is not my forte. And so the last couple of weeks have not been the easiest on either of us.

But his three-day road trip is coming to end now and I will be able to open the little UHaul trailer and see what has made it to this part of the country. We still have things stashed away in basement corners of Nova Scotia, but we will deal with that headache later. Yes, later. One thing at a time. Today I get to welcome him HOME. Today is when it starts.