A Frustration

I am having a crisis of focus these days. It is a haunting annoyance in the back of my brain that is drowning out my rationality. This is nothing to new to me. I have faced this all of my life and I have yet to figure out how to make it go away. I admit that I don't think it will go away - I will just have to get better at dealing with it. But this is the problem, as I get older I have more things in my mind that require solid attention. I don't have the luxury of being a kid with all its free mental time to devote to this ailment. What is it that tortures me so? It is infatuation. It is my crushing-ness on the man-candy. It is that useless, day-dreaming-ness that vascilates between tickling my mind and kicking my ass. What's a girl to do?

A New Mantra

Play it a little cool.
Be Nice.
Remember that you are already gorgeous.

Popular Music

Three new shows debuted this week all about the decadence of the rich. One is a teen soap waiting to fill the "OC" vaccuum (Gossip Girl), one is a primetime soap of family dysfunction (Dirty Sexy Money) and one is a guy version of "Desperate Housewives" (Big Shots).

I enjoyed all three shows. Gossip Girl is on my must-see guilty pleasure list but I will never schedule around it because it is available on CTV broadband at my leisure. Dirty Sexy Money has the best cast of any new show and the quickest wit. It is a delightful mix of "Dynasty" & "Arrested Development" but I am not sure how long it can sustain its edge. Big Shots is a waste as far as actual story-telling goes but the eye-candy is good so it will likely stay around for the season. As if to counter the tide of low-end reality programs, these three new entries all center on people with means, people with BIG houses and wine cellars and helicopters and designer clothes.

But the kicker is that ALL three shows featured the SAME song at some point in the pilot episode. Yes, the SAME song. So apparently, "Young Folks" by Swedish group Peter, Bjorn & John is THE anthem of mainstream TV decadence this season. Admittedly it is a catchy tune. So good call PB&J promotors - you got my attention. You can check out the song of the season (and its cute video) here.

Sexy Season

It has been a busy week. For the first time in ages I had something to do every evening this week. Between classes and the film festival my only night off was going to be Friday. Then I got an "emergency" phone call from Wade about the painting of the built-in bar he was working on and my Friday night became a home-decor/painting/renovation exravaganza. It felt great to be involved. To be helping my friends. To be productive. And by the time I was back on Saturday morning the bar was looking snazzy and the place was on its way to hosting the boys' Take Sexy Back party.

It was the first day of fall and we all piled into the boys' place to rock our hotness. My plan to be "responsible" and only drink my white wine did not last and my stellar drunk self was on a roll. But it was a fantastic event. I felt good being surrounded by friends and interesting new people and not feeling any pressure to be anything but myself. It has been a long time since I felt that way. To top it off I was sporting a new set of fun hair extensions in order to unleash my inner supermodel - they were SO much fun. Hopefully I'll be able to figure them out in the future! We'll see. By 4am it was time to head home. It was the perfect ending to a big week and a great way to kickoff a new season.

Crush Boy Alert

I first noticed Hugh Dancy when he was a flop-haired brit-boy playing hero to the enchanted Ella of Anne Hathaway. He was "cute" but not take notice cute. He earned a bit more scruff in King Arthur but since he was playing Galahad the innocence was maintained. (Also, working opposite Clive Owen tends to take the viewers eyes OFF of you!) But then earlier this year I saw a little romantic flick called Evening and Hugh Dancy stole the show. He is still a tad boyish but that has now morphed into a wonderful charm. He has a full smile and happy eyes. He has, in fact become quite dreamy.

Which brings to me the full manisfestation of his crush-worthyness in the recent release The Jane Austin Book Club. Hugh plays Grigg, a bike-short-wearing, secretly wealthy IT support worker who is invited to join a group of love-lorn & love-lost ladies as they savour the works of Jane Austin. His invitation is due to the efforts of Jocelyn's (Maria Bello - stunning as always) attempt to bring some man-candy into the path of her recently heartbroken friend Sylvia (Amy Brenneman). But Grigg only has eyes for Jocelyn and the blossoming may-december romance between the two is one of the film's most enjoyable aspects. Much of this enjoyment is thanks to Dancy who has proven himself to be a wonderful screen presence. Affability is not a typical leading man trait - but leave it to Hugh and may as well be the best one.

Rocking My Inner Georgia O'Keefe

... otherwise known as the angles you see when you're not getting any. Actually, I really like this image in spite of its poor focus. I find the colour really pleasing.

Moving Again

"Without a vision of the future there is nothing to lead us forward."

These words were spoken during a lecture in my management consultiing class on Thursday night and they hit home. In one sentence I can sum up what was missing from my life in the past year. I had lost my concept of a future for myself. I did not have a direction. I did not have a vision and so I was lost in the darkness that is just being "here". In the past few weeks a view of the future has been emerging in my brain. I applied for graduation. I conceded that being close to my family - especially my nephew and niece - is important to me. I discovered some new professional paths to explore. And so I have regained my vision and for the first time in ages I have shaken free of some of my inertia and begun to move again. It feels great.

TIFF Sniff*

So the Toronto International Film Festival is in full swing causing me to stay up too late watching red carpet coverage on STAR! TV. It also makes me sad to realize that my boy Ben Affleck (looking better than he has in ages!) is IN the city and I am not. Oh the injustice.