Phoenix Time

There is a moment in life when you get blindsided by the fact that the man you believe you could love has, in fact, fallen for someone else. This truth leads to extensive crying where you can feel the tears being squeezed from your eyes while at the same time finding it hard to pinpoint why you feel so much. Then you awake the next day and you realize that you are grieving the loss of possibility. That you are hurt by the re-opening of a rejection wound inflicted many years before. That you are mourning an end of certain things, places, and actions. But if you look deep, in that place you have been ignoring, you realize that you are not lamenting the loss of the man - himself. Part of this is because you know he will never be gone and part of this is the because you know (now) it was never what you imagined. And two days later a friend suggests how good it was to have learned, cried and realized all this while at home. In that place surrounded by those who love you so that you can be reminded of the WHO that you are. The mighty WHO that is the real you and not the unchosen girl you thought yourself to be. And then you remember a lesson from the man about THIS moment. And you repeat it ... this moment. And you pick up the mantra you had left aside weeks ago when you got lost and say it over and over ... "this moment, this moment ..." and with it you jump back into the only sure thing there is - the neverending flux and change of the world.

Maebe & Me

I finally got to meet my precious doll of a niece last week. She is SO amazing. She is smaller than Tag was and such a different personality. She has a full head of hair (obviously) that feels like soft bunny fur. And she smiles ... a lot. I actually got her to fall asleep during my visit so I felt all super-aunt-like until Kat told me to put her in the crib and I couldn't figure out how to get her off my chest and turned around without waking her up. But I managed in the end.The interesting thing about her arrival is that it makes me more motivated to be around. I would really like to be part of the lives of Tag & Maebe. I have no idea if or when I will have kids of my own so these little guys are my current chance to be part of someone's development. And they are so wonderful. Of course I can say that because I don't have them full-time! Anyway, just wanted to show off more pics. This arrival has been the highlight of my summer for sure.

... Aunt Raye Part 1 ...

A Bit of Coupling

I just got the 4 seasons of the UK TV-show "Coupling" on DVD. It is one of my favourites. It is laugh-out-loud funny and as bright as "Arrested Development". One of the most heart-warming moments is the get-together scene for Sally and Patrick. It somehow puts all the emotions of vulnerability, humour and romance into one selection. It is also a winning declaration of love and I am sucker for those things! Enjoy.

More Good News

Pisces - for July 16 to 22
Venus is now under the influence of common-sense Virgo, giving you the power to ignore the cynics... or your own negative assumptions. Pisces, you are getting over this year's identity crisis or relationship stalemate and you will begin to feel in touch with your own needs and less responsible for others' discontent. Courtesy of an accord between Mars and visionary Uranus on the 20th, you should receive solid conformation that you're supported in a professional or creative venture and that your plans for expanding your home-base or pursuing your vision are not castles in the sky. P.S. This is not the time to do your Pisces thing and turn inward. It's through contacts, friends and inspiring conversations that you will be given the map to the next cosmic crossroad... or your soul mate.

OK friends ... keep me hopping. Don't let me go all introspective cause I have sort of started already and things are going to slip away.

Evening - movie review

Every once in awhile you can find a good romance film at the theatre. I am not talking about a romanic comedy filled with contrivances and weak motivations. I am talking about a proper romance film that includes the joy, ecstacy, vulnerability, loss and sadness that love can bring. Often these films are adapted from literature and often they are period pieces. Evening is such a film.


Evening is a flashback piece. Ann Grant lays daying under the watchful eyes of her daughters. In a moment of memory-filled pain she mentions "Harris" - a name that means nothing to her children. From this moment the story unveils the history of Ann and Harris and how their love for each other changed their lives and those around them. Woven between the scenes of nostalgia is the tales of Ann's daughters - notably Nina (Toni Collette) - as they confront the loss of their mother and their own love challenges. For all involved, the film represents a tale of finding oneself in love and what that means to the relationships that women have in their lives.

Evening has a dreamlike quality that is fueled by both deathbed delusions and seaside memories. And although the editing between the worlds is not always at its best the time-shifting pace eventually becomes less intrusive. What it most exceptional about the film is the performances. A truly wonderful cast has been assembled that includes: Claire Danes, Toni Collette, Lynn Redgrave, Natashe Richardson and Meryl Streep. Add to this mix the crushworthy Hugh Dancy and Patrick Wilson and you have a two hours of pure magic. And although the film is not everyone's cup of tea it is sure to satisfy any romantic's bittersweet tooth. If you enjoyed other sentimental treats such as: How to Make an America Quilt, Sense & Sensibilty and The Joy Luck Club then add this Evening to your day.

Beautiful

Some more updated pics of my niece and nephew. Could they be cuter? I think it is images like this that give women "baby pangs". They speak of something so beautiful in new lives full of promise. I just had to share.

Live Free or Die Hard - movie review

In 1988, at the age of 33, Bruce Willis stared in an action film called Die Hard. It was the film that firmly pulled him out of "Moonlighting" and onto the big screen. What was great about the film was Willis' unassuming performance as John McClane and the solid action direction of John McTiernan (Predator, Hunt for Red October, Thomas Crowne Affair). This is the material where Willis excels. From my POV some his best roles are those of the "ordinary" guy who has no place in the master plan but somehow gets mixed-in with a personal stake in the result (Pulp Fiction, Twelve Monkeys, Fifth Element). With this view in mind, the first 2 films in this series excelled but the third deviated. Thankfully, this fourth installment returns to form and the audience is rewarded for it.



So in 2007, at the age of 52, Willis is back fighting the good fight for freedom in Die Hard 4. This time around the formula returns: McClane is hauled into a cyber-terrorism plot that takes a personal turn when his daughter is taken as negotiation collateral. Joining Willis is geek-cutey Justin Long who is a clever next-generation foil to Willis' action verteran. The relationship offers plenty of fodder to explore the changes in the world since McClane's last adventure 12 years ago. It is a smart edge to the narrative that takes ample advantage of Long's Mac computer status.

This time Len Wiseman has been brought on board to direct the action. Depending on who you are this choice might appear to be a clear gamble as he only had two previous films behind him - the Underworld films. Perhaps it was felt a long-term director was not required for the established franchise. Maybe no one wanted to touch a film with a quarter-century-aged Willis trying to save the day. Possibly it was felt that the series needed a new perspective. Whatever the rationale, Wiseman offers an excellent product that is likely the best action movie of the summer.

What Wiseman has done is craft the movie as an action-packed, shoot-em-up, crash'n'burn bonanza. And althought the film has a millenium gloss it uses a "retro" approach to the action that is decidedly real. You see, I like action films that actually blow things up or crash real cars or destroy rooms with bullets and this film does ALL of that. I mean, a car crashes into a helicopter! It's awesome. It is the way I remember action films from the 1980/1990s when this series began and so it is an appropriate and entertaining aestethic.

The second question would be that of Willis himself. Thankfully, Bruce has gotten better with age and embodies enough masculinity for both genders to still find him "the man" onscreen. With his shaved head and rye grin, Willis has infused his latest McClane turn with a humour that winks at the incredulous proceedings and brings the audience further into the film. By understanding that some may question his age and capability in the film, Willis parries any attacks by acknowledging the view directly and making it part of the story. The result is a comedic compliment to the action bursts that augments the film further.

To be sure, a Die Hard film is never meant to be more than a summer popcorn film. It is meant to be entertaining, fast-paced and enjoyable. When all these marks are hit with success then an audience cannot ask for me. And yet, Live Free or Die Hard does deliver more. It makes a reasonable commentary on the weakness of computer consolidation. It offers a sleek bad guy in Timolthy Olyphant that rivals the original Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) in ego-maniacal intent. It showcases the stunning Maggie Q kicking Bruce's ass. Of all the things to get better with age I never thought the Die Hard series would be one of them ... but, thankfully, I was wrong. So go see it.

It's a Girl!!!

In the middle of the afternoon a new member of my family came into the world. Her name is Maebe Elizabeth Anne Lemke. She was 7lbs and 13ounces and with her dark hair and big smile she is a true stunner. Congrats to Kathryn on another quick delivery, my brother Rob on getting a daughter to spoil, and Tag on having the ultimate test to sharing come into his life. So on this Canada Day I become an aunt for the second time. As Kat said, Maebe will always have fireworks on her birthday! Now I only have to count the days (20 of them!) until I get to meet her myself.

Intent

As always I do my resolutions on the first of July rather than the first of January. It usually takes me the first half a year to sort out what I really want to achieve anyway. Last year I set out some guidelines for living. They were:

a) Honesty
b) Emotional Health
c) Internal Locus of Control
d) Work Mastery
e) Academic Accomplishment
f) Self-love/Pride/Respect
g) Health/Fitness/Beauty

How did I do? Well...

a) I am still working on it but I have had more than one occassion this year wherein I actually confronted situations and spoke my mind - it was not easy but it always felt better when I did.

b)& c) I am definately farther ahead in these areas but much work is still to come to think. However, I have identified some good paths to pursue and that is a start.

d) I feel very good here. I had my one-year performance review and have proven myself to be a proficient and capable employee. Yay!

e) I continue to be an A student. I continue to struggle with the research paper but I am seeing light in the tunnel now and may surprise everyone yet!

f) Another guiding principle that has strengthened over the year but still needs some work.

g) Feeling very good here. I have found a gym that I enjoy and a routine that I can (usually) maintain. I have gotten rid of a solid 7 pounds (or 1.5 inches of my waist) and things are looking up. I got a new haircut (rock those bangs) which I really enjoy. And some new clothes that actually fit has been helpful.

Other things I hoped to achieve?
1 - keeping my plant alive = check! It's still growing. I think I need to repot it.
2 - another plant = no go. I just never got around to it.
3 - a dog within 2 years = still hoping for this one but as I have signed a lease in a dog-free apt. it won't be in the coming year.
4 - Everest trek at 35 = may actually be happening earlier! I have discussed the plan with Stephanie of maybe going in the spring of 2009 - one year ahead of schedule but I will have a travel buddy!

So where does that leave things for the year ahead? For once I have some bona fide objectives:

a) graduate in May with my MBA
b) go to Europe with Nat & Blair
c) join the Nova Scotia Photo Guild - buy a better digital camera!
d) Establish my next "big move" by this time next year

See you then!