As usual I find myself being reflective in the weeks leading up to my birthday. Two weeks till I turn 33. As I look back through this blog I realize that it has (unplanned) become a chronicle of my 30s thus far. I began my online ramblings a few weeks before my 30th birthday and have attempted to keep up-to-date since then. So now I am about to celebrate my 33rd year of life and I am not quite sure what to make of it all.I came to Halifax with a particular plan in mind and that plan lays in tatters behind me on paths I did not take and on detours I found. I am four weeks away from confirming my graduation status with a thesis still to write, two courses worth of deliverables to complete and a job to satisfy. I don't feel secure that I can do it and yet I see no other choice - what a corner I have painted for myself. If I look back to my young adulthood and the impressions I had about what my life would be at 33 I find no similarities. I have no relationship. I have not started a family. I don't own a home. I have not begun my career.
This view sounds depressing doesn't it? But I am not depressed. My life feels more connected and secure than it has in ages - in spite of the change and ambiguity on the horizon. I am happier now than I have been in the last couple of years. I have taken some hard knocks and I am getting over most of that now. Some days I catch myself just smiling for no reason. And while there are still many things I would like to do that I cannot figure out how to achieve there is a frisson of potential in the air that I had forgotten. I must remind myself to carry this energy into my birthday wishes to bless the opportunities that can arise in year 34.
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