Ben ... Sigh

My last post was all about my odessey of a day waiting by the red carpet to catch glimpses of famous people at TIFF. The reall driving force behind select THAT particular day was, of course, the opportunity to see Ben Affleck - in person. My decision to wait outside for 8 hours on the cold concrete was a direct result of my Benji love. That I could be in close proximity to the man I have been crushing on for 15 years was the only rationale I needed. I also felt the experience required its own special post. The story goes like this...

I didn't know when he would arrive. Would he, as the film's director, be first? Would he arrive before ALL the daylight had been sapped from the sky? As it was he was in the second talent car to arrive. The black Cadillac SUV pulled up and I could see through the windshield. "It's Ben" I stated to my red carpet fan friends. And then I saw her and realized that Jennifer Garner was with him. The car came to a stop and the interior light went on. Ben leaned over and gave Jennifer a light kiss - one of those simple kisses that married people do - and got out of the car.

The fandemonium exploded upon his arrival. He moved in front of the press photographers first and my view exploded with flashbulbs. From behind he carried himself as you would expect from a star but also with a casualness that is true to form. A slight slump in his posture that is almost "aw shucks" about the entire affair. If you see the press photos of him you see an uneasy smile. But from my view, it was perfect. I got nervous while he dallied at the far end of the photo line. I wondered if he would make it over to the fan line at all. Earlier, Redford hand ignored the screaming masses completely and I was concerned that Ben's directorial duties would mean the same for him.

But then he was there. With only a couple of long strides he was against the fenceline and facing flashes and screams and pens thrust foward. It happened to fast. I was standing on my tippy-toes trying not to be pushed over the barricade by the crush of adoration behind me. He was SO close to me. RIGHT in front of me I could have kissed his chest! I didn't. I couldn't breathe. My head was surrounded by demanding arms and I tried to get my camera in position for a clean head shot. It was not to be. With a blinding flash I was able to snap a blurred close-up of his ... CHIN. And then he was gone. Moving to my left down the line and signing all the way. He looked shocked the entire time. Overwhelmed by the demanding crowd he never cracked a smile. My heart went out to him knowing that he would never be able to appease the number of requests thrown his way in the time that he had.

And then, almost before I fully grasped that he was there, he was gone. It could not have been longer than a couple of minutes. He moved back to the swarm of handlers at the red carpet and disappeared into the white glow of the press tent. Stepping on the red carpet before the TV cameras for the rest of the world to see.

It wasn't until the entire evening was over and I was waiting for the subway that I caught my breathe completely. My heart went back to its regular rhythm. My mind cleared from the haze of adrenaline. It was in that moment that I cursed myself for not filming the entire thing. How I did not think to video the experience escapes me. So I must be happy with the images - the one above was sent to me by a gal standing next to me who got a great shot while I got the CHIN! But if I close my eyes I am able to capture the moment again hold onto that feeling in memory of what it really was.

Ben is Back!

Today is Ben Affleck's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN. I think Ben will remember 2010 as a good year for himself. It is the year that his birthday occurs amid a bit of buzz. And really, when was the last time there was buzz about Ben?

It has been 3 years since his directorial debut Gone Baby Gone garnered him actual buzz. It has been 5 years since he got some ink for his nuptials to Jennifer Garner. It has been over 6 years since the tabloid well of "Bennifer" dried up. And it has 9 years since Pearl Harbour and 12 years since he blew up in Armageddion. The man won an Oscar for screenwriting an entire teenager ago. All of that to say, there has not been a lot of bread to share at the Ben banquet in recent years.

But that is all changing this summer. This summer Ben is back. This summer Ben's latest film The Town is hitting the festival circuit and is generating buzz for Ben. His second feature as a director, this film is a make-or-break endeavour. If it goes well then Ben has a shot at being taken seriously behind the camera. His kudos for Baby will carry-over and give him a big hug of respect. (I'm not sure casting himself in the film was his best move to ensure this outcome but I cannot deny that I am happy to have him back up on the screen either.)

And Ben is bringing his buzz to TIFF in September (yes, I think I will be doing some stalking) before the film goes out for wide release. It has a great cast and that collective of talent may see Ben through. It speaks highly to him that those actors (Chris Cooper, Jeremy Renner, John Hamm, even Blake Lively - all of whom have earned raves for their work) would be involved in his project so my hopes are high.

So Happy Birthday Ben. I hope this year of your life brings you great success, if only so it means I will get to see you around more often. Cheers.

Bringing Back the Ben

Armageddon was on TV this afternoon and it reminded me how much I love Ben. The movie represents the moment when Ben's glory days began. It was his first star project after Good Will Hunting and the studio had gotten him a personal trainer and invested in some new teeth. He was in the midst of his prom-king&queen relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow. It was the summer of 1998 and he was beautiful.

Recently, my dear friend Nann reminded me of my Ben lust. It had been tarnished by the Jlo style-tan and the succeeding decline into ragged scruffiness. Add the poor movie selection and smoking habit and I was starting to doubt my boy Ben. But today I remembered why he is my celeb hottie of choice. And as I looked back at my dating choices over the years I realized that there is not a Ben in the bunch. In fact, there have been a lot of anti-Bens. No one tall. No one dark. No one handsome in that Han-Solo-kind-of-way. I think it's time that changed.

Dear Ben

To my dearest Ben:

I guess congratulations are in order on your recent June 30th nuptuals. Yay! for not freaking out this time and actually making it to the alter. It appears that things are going well for you. The limited press coverage of your current relationship (and impending parenthood) are sure signs that you have something positive in your life. Vultures only hover around disaster and decay afterall.

I must say that I am a tad disappointed that you could not wait for me. I was here all the time. A full decade of devotion I gave you. I stood by you through the Gwyneth phase. I supported your attempts at "serious acting". I defended your pre-emptive rehab stint. I could still see the real you during the JLo debacle. I solidly declared you the "next Harrison Ford". So as I sit here typing this in my "Ben's Future Girlfriend" Tshirt, it is sad to say that future is no more. sigh.....

So good luck to you Benji. I will always have found memories of crushing on you in your wild, single days. Just be a good husband and a good father so I don't have reason to hate you in the months ahead.
Sincerely, R:)