How Does Your Garden Grow

My thumbs have never been green. If anything, my hands distinctly hold the shade of botanical death. I have been known to actually kill cacti - and they can live in some darn inhospitable regions. I accidentally froze a jade plant to death just by putting it on a windowsill. To date, every houseplant I have transplanted has whithered away. In order to save more green lives from an undeserving demise I have held off on living plants in my home and focused my attention on already-doomed cut flowers and cheap-and-forever fake blooms.

But then I moved into my new place in Toronto and it came with both a front flower bed and an ample garden space in the backyard. I decided to give these areas some attention and have since become captivated with trying to populate these soily spaces and keep my newly acquired plants alive and thriving.


The first step was getting some help. And who better to help than my mom, who has, throughout my life always managed to grow something. I also thought it would be a nice way for us to bond since we have not shared any garden adventures since I was about 5 years old and shucking peas was my responsibility.

At the end of April my mom came down to Toronto to spend the weekend with me. Of course I know nothing about plants so when my mom asked what I would like to have in the garden my only response was: "Something blue?" We toured the Canadian Tire for supplies - my first trowel! - and dirt. We got a few small pansies and some snapdragons but the selection was not great. Our next stop at the Loblaws garden centre was more rewarding. We got some bigger pansies - Giganticos! - some daisy-looking bunches and some herbs. We also got two tomato plants to get them started. The convenience stores at the top of my street (they ALL sell flowers!) provided us with ivy and some marigolds.


We devoted the Saturday to picking, plucking and planting. In truth, my mom did alot of the transplanting and I did most of the weeding. She showed me how to dig the deep edge along the beds to keep the grass from infiltrating and I turned over the soil in the bed to mizx it with a growing mix and hummus mixture. Thankfully the sun was out all day but my back began to ache and my feet and hands were filthy. We tried to use gloves but in the end it was easier to alot of things with my bar hands.


Finally we got all the plants into their places. I got a flower box for the railing of the front porch and filled it with periwinkly, ivy and purple pansies. Then I had to water everything. I didn't have a garden hose so the old-fashioned method was employed. Trying to saturate a flower bed with a watering can takes quite a few trips. But it was worth it! The flowers really helped the yard to look lively and bring a touch of spring to the house.


A month later and things are going well. The trees are finally getting buds and I have discovered that annuals from years past are sprouting in the gardens. I am very grateful to the past tenants who planted before me because it isn't cheap to fill a garden and it is great that I didn't have to buy all the filler! I also took a number of trips down to the beach and collected rocks to line the beds. The front was done all in shades of grey and the back in mixed stones. I contructed the inukshuk from spare brick I found on the property. It was done for my boyfriend who really likes the emblem. It firmly stays that "we are here".


I look at the gardens and I have to smile. My mom was so helpful, the weather has been sunny and the flowers are blooming well. I have plans to make a herb garden and a section has been setup for vegetables which I will do later this month. It still looks sort of sparse to me but I have to remember that he earth is full of magic just waiting to grow. If the day lillies are any indication then more treasures will soon be pushing up into the air and filling up the spaces. Time to go water everything. Admittedly, the whole "gardening" thing is a bit addictive and I have to keep my thumb green while it lasts.

Home Is Where The Start Is

So this is where it begins. My boyfriend arrives today. YAY! After three months of long distance and three weeks of moving preparation anxiety he will be finally be here. The very thought of it fills my brain with girlie giggles about our upcoming together-ness. I cannot help thinking about how his arrival marks the start of the next stage of our lives. We have left our east coast setting behind. We are embarking on new career paths. We are consolidating our lives into the little house below.


And of course I am completely freaked out. Yes, it is true. While my life has been relatively simple this past month - work, commute, eat, read, sleep, repeat - my boyfriend has been sorting and packing the elements of our life in a frenzy. We decided to take an economical approach which forced a drastic purge in our belongings. Purging is not my boyfriend's strong suit. Leaving the fate of my personal effects in the hands of others is not my forte. And so the last couple of weeks have not been the easiest on either of us.

But his three-day road trip is coming to end now and I will be able to open the little UHaul trailer and see what has made it to this part of the country. We still have things stashed away in basement corners of Nova Scotia, but we will deal with that headache later. Yes, later. One thing at a time. Today I get to welcome him HOME. Today is when it starts.

Fang-Fricken-Tastic!

The best 3 minutes of TV all season! Check out this CTV clip of last night's episode of "The Vampire Diaries". If you haven't been watching all season and don't want to spoil it then skip this entry. Ignore the mandatory ad and the opening to the scene just click the image to get the goods.


I think the performance of Paul Wesley (Stefan) is so incredible as he goes through all the emotions of the addict and vampire that he is. So amazing. Look at his face in the end. A face in shock. In pain. A face smeared and dripping with blood. A monster's face. And this is the hero! The good guy! This show rocks.

Joy Stuck

Life has taken some dramatic turns in the past few months. After my relocation for work and organizing a long-distance relationship, we have found an apartment to rent and are now madly planning his relocation back to me. This should be a time filled with joy. I have, instead, filled it with anxiety. My boyfriend, not so much. You see, we are very different people when it comes to dealing with, well, anything.

The picture to the left explains it all. If, by chance, we were held captive by a giant pre-historic slothbeast then our behaviour would be thus:

Him: hahaha! Giant slothbeast. Well this is in unfortunate. High Five to the sloth.

Me: gah! Giant slothbeast. This is the worst thing ever. I must mope about it.

Our current situation is a real-life slothbeast. And I have to admit that in the past two months I have not been the best girlfriend. I have been the mopey girlfriend and I am strangling the happy-go-lucky-high-fives from my relationship. I know that I am overwhelmed by the fast-pace of change and the ever-growing pile of unknowns in my future. The stimulating aura of 'the new' has faded away leaving me alone in a dark tunnel of 'what-ifs'. And it makes me a bad girlfriend. It makes me sulky on the phone with my boyfriend who doesn't deserve such negative vibes ALL the time. And I hate it. I hate that my JOY is stuck!

I understand that one source of my frustration is in the planning for change. When planning is involved I see the entire staircase. I see ALL the potential steps of a process as they ascend into the distance. Right now I see soooo many steps that they make the destination feel very far away. My boyfriend sees the steps as a one step after another. He tackles each step as it arrives. There is an obvious tension between people who build staircases and those who tackle steps. I have been letting this difference generate more negative feelings that it should. A good partnership has balance. It requires both. We will be successful in tackling the challenges ahead because we do it differently.

So the goal now is to unstick the joy. To release it back into the vast opportunities that are coming our way. To revel in the good fortune we have to be together. That is a positive start. One step at a time.

Magnificent!

This story is only rumor at the moment but it is such a great rumor that I can only hope it is true. Apparently, Tim Burton is in talks to re-make Disney's Sleeping Beauty tale from the evil fairy Maleficent's point of view! And ... Angelina Jolie may be playing the lead witch. The idea that one of my favourite actresses will be bringing my favourite Disney villian to life from my favourite Disney classic. Yay! Fingers crossed for this one. Read the story here!

Great to Grey

Oooops, I spoke too soon. From one great episode to a waste episode. Why? Why do we need to see Hunt relive his army time? How "ER" can you get! "Grey's Anatomy" thrives in Seattle (with the occassion trip to Oceanside Wellness) and taking its stories away from there for a flashback episode is jarring and weak.

The ceiling fan episode that introduced Hunt's PTSD storyline was excellent. Why go the obvious route and then create the most over-used drama scene EVER!!! Seriously, there was so much potential coming out of last week that they should have used that momentum rather than stop it in desert-boot tracks! At least we got some Sloan and Teddy hotness - I am a total fan of that!

Diary of a Vampire Addict

My name is Raye and I am a vampire-holic. I understand that my affliction is hardly special in this day in age. Every woman alive is swooning over one vamp or another these days. It is almost embarassing to admit my weakness since I know it will be catalogued as a bandwagon ride gone way too far. But I stand firm in my particular case of vampiric interest. It is an interest in the mythology that surrounds vampire tales. I have never enjoyed vampires in the horror sense and find blood-soaked terrors unappealing. But those stories and films with a human angle and a stylized look are my vamp-nip.

In the end I am a fan of vampires because they are an intriguing mirror for humanity's moral compass. I enjoy the hyper-stylized aestethics of vampire story-telling (especially movies) because it amplifies the idea of an altered human state that is overt, seductive, and brash. There is ooomph! in everything. Vampires embody the darker sides of sexuality and violence stemming from our source of life. Bram Stoker's Dracula is one of my favourite novels and is as much a tragic love story as it is a horror story. The goods are in the relationships of the humans as they are confronted with the monster.

I am a devout fan of the Buffy and Angel series for truly creating mythology and fighting through the ambiguity of human versus vampire. Where is the line when a vampire becomes a monster? It's common human form makes the distinction more challenging and much more interesting than werewolves or swamp things or zombies. Recently, vampires have become somewhat de-fanged. People will blame Twilight but it really began with Angel. The vampire with a soul who doesn't kill humans has become a template for do-gooder vampires now running rampant in the popular media. And while I don't love the ideas of neutering vampires (even Edward is tougher in the books than the movies) I find this development to be another interesting morality tale. You can be a blood-loving carnivore as long as you respect human life. Once again, the vampire-human connection is central to the topic.

And thankfully, one show is getting it all right! "The Vampire Diaries" returns with new episodes tonight after a month-long hiatus and I could not be more excited!! Many people will have over-looked "The Vampire Diaries" as a Twilight rip-off when it premiered on TV in the fall. But those who have taken the time to welcome the town of Mystic Falls and the Salvatore brothers into our lives have been well rewarded. Based on a series of teen pulp novels from the 90s, "The Vampire Diaries" has become the next Buffy. While it does not (yet) subscribe to a background mythology, it has established the vampires within a historical community. This context gives the show depth beyond the usual teen show. There are mysteries to unravel, relationships to be revealed and romance to be had.

It helps that the two male leads Stefan (Paul Wesley) and Damon (Ian Somerhalder) Salvatore are two of the hottest vampires to grace the screen. Total squee-age! Stefan is the good vampire who has sworn off humans and romaning our leading lady - with an ever-developing past of her own. Damon is the bad brother who revels in his goodies of being vampire and has never questioned the morality of it all. Blinded by love he has cut a swath of death for 140 years.

Add to the mix the production team behind "Dawson's Creek" (don't laugh!) and you have an addictive soap with some pretty decent storytelling. Seriously, more happens in one episode of "The Vampire Diaries" than has happened in any other show all season. This show moves! And, most importantly, it realizes that vampires don't have to be good guys. In fact, it is important to the vampire brand that some of them are out-right bad. Like, ripping out beating hearts bad. "The Vampire Diaries" has handled this mix of sex and violence in a perfect way. It is a decadent treat that everyone should be sinking their teeth into!

Crush Yummy!

In 2007 I really wanted to see a movie called Jane Austen Book Club. I felt it would be a sweet slice of chick movie and I was right. It is a decent film with heart-warming performances by a stack of talented ladies. It also introduced me to Kevin Zegers!

Kevin Zegers! Yes, everytime I think of him it is done with exclamation points. Zegers is what you would call dreamy. In Book Club he plays a high school student attempting to seduce a teacher (Emily Blunt) and his magnetism is palpable. There is something sparkling in his eyes, etched along his narrow features, and teasing in his voice that makes you WANT to be seduced by him. he is capable of appearing innocent and dirty at the same time. He defines je ne sais quoi in the male form.

I had missed Zegers breakthrough performance as the son in Transamerica but did catch him as the son in The Stone Angel which proved he is more than a pretty face. Although often confused with pretty-boy Zac Efron, Zegers has distinquished himself with a quiet talent that subtley out-performs his contemporaries.

Then, this year he showed up on "Gossip Girl" playing a diplomat's son (and drug dealer) named Damian. And I was all, Kevin Zegers! Sadly, Kevin's role on GG has come to an end. I would have enjoyed having his hotness around for the entire season. Next up is a Bonnie & Clyde remake with him playing the titular Clyde Barrow and I am sure that Zegers will deftly handle a role immortalized by Warren Beatty. Too bad his co-star is Hillary Duff. You deserve better Kevin Zegers!