Thursday, February 03, 2011

Just a Little Taste

The first month of the new year and month number 5(!) in my apparel diet comes to a close. Somehow I made it through the Christmas shopping onslaught only to be detoured by the new year sales. Yes, it is true. My non-shopping journey ran out of gas this month and I had to refuel. A number of factors contributed to my moment of weakness.

1 - Somehow I managed to stain or shrink three of my cardigans this fall. The loss of these wardrobe staples has left me recycling the same four sweaters for the last few months. I was definately starting to feel the grind of my fashion rut.

2 - The sale sign at Jacob was too great a lure for me to resist. Especially since all the cardigans were 50% off!! Point number 1 reinforced.

3 - My sendentary chunkiness has persisted and finding something that doesn't bunch, tug or pinch has been a challenge. Since I don't want to spend my days accentuating the negative it was difficult to spend every day feeling less than attractive. Not being able to buy anything to fit my current state was only increasing my stress.

So I caved on day 138. Into Jacob I went and I promptly bought three new cardigans in teal, burgundy and cinnamon. And I never felt better. The experience was a perfect shopping oasis in my desert of denial. I don't have a stitch of guilt about the process, especially since the price tag for the entire affair was less than $70!

But here is where the revelation comes. Shopping really has an addictive vibe for me. While I was bemoaning the loss of my mall mojo last month, the minute I paid for my sweaters I feld calm. Restored. Since that day I have wandered into more stores than I had in the previous months combined. I find myself actually considering a good spree with helpful ideas such as:

"it doesn't really matter if I shop or not"
"the prices are so good right now" and
"I really want a pair of skinny jeans."

This is how the backslide starts. My one sip of consumption and my brain is ready to go for it all. I have to remember to stay strong. I can do this. One day at a time ... in a really great sweater!